


Chat-astrophe

by Drosera_Sundews



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Chatting & Messaging, Competent Evil Nathalie Sancoeur, Dungeons & Dragons 5th Edition, Gabriel Agreste's A+ Parenting, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Markov is a person I will not be told otherwise, Memes, Multi, Pathetic Evil Gabriel Agreste, Underage Drinking, and Miracuclass friendships as well, lots of Ladynoir friendship, starts at Origins, the gang plays DnD, yup it's another groupchat fic!
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-26
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:28:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 22,613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23863780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Drosera_Sundews/pseuds/Drosera_Sundews
Summary: Rena Rouge:OMg yes vandalism!Ladybug:HOWEVER let’s try to be at least a little bit professional about itRena Rouge:Why it’s not like we have a PR teamRena Rouge:Except maybe the ladyblogger but I bet she’d think this is super radRena Rouge:We’re superheroes! We’ve saved the city multiple times! No one’s gonna blame us for some good old recreational vandalismChat Noir:YesssssCarapace:I’ll bring the spray paint!
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir & Alya Césaire & Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug & Nino Lahiffe, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug
Comments: 172
Kudos: 458





	1. Voice Commands

**Author's Note:**

> Betad by the lovely [Norelica](https://norelica.tumblr.com/)!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two cakes theory states that there's definitely people out there looking to read yet another MLB chatfic. Seeing as you are here, I'm hoping that's you! Enjoy!

...Starting  
...Initialising private channel

**Private Chatroom:** Black Cat - **Destruction**

...  
[Chat Noir has entered the chatroom]  


**Chat Noir:** Hello? 

**Chat Noir:** Test test

 **Chat Noir:** Huh

  


**Chat Noir:** So this is just an empty chat room then

 **Chat Noir:** Story of my life

 **Chat Noir:** Hello?!

  


**♪ Chat Noir:** Oh look at that! 

**♪ Chat Noir:** Speech to text? Sweet! 

**♪ Chat Noir:** Still not very useful though… there has to be more this thing can do. 

**♪ Chat Noir:** Hmn, or not

 **♪ Chat Noir:** This is so sad baton play despacito 

  


...Searching  
♫ AY ♫

**♪ Chat Noir:** Huh 

♫ Fonsi! ♫

**♪ Chat Noir:** Wait 

♫ D.Y. ♫

**♪ Chat Noir:** No stop! 

♫ Oh ♫

**♪ Chat Noir:** Baton stop 

♫ Oh no, oh no ♫

**♪ Chat Noir:** Baton mute? 

♫ Oh yeah ♫

**♪ Chat Noir:** Baton lower volume 

♫ Diridiri, dirididi Daddy ♫

[Changing Volume: 100/100]

♫ GO ♫

**♪ Chat Noir:** No! That’s not what I said! 

♫ SI, SABES QUE YA LLEVO UN RATO MIRANDOTE ♫

**♪ Chat Noir:** *HISSSSSS* 

♫ TENGO QUE BAILIAR CONTIGO HOY D.Y. ♫

**♪ Chat Noir:** No no no no no 

♫ VI QUE TO MIRADA YA ESTABA LLAMANDOME ♫

**♪ Chat Noir:** Please shut up please please

 **♪ Chat Noir:** *knock knock*...drien...ere...noise...oming from?!

 **♪ Chat Noir:** SORRY NATHALIE MY COMPUTER IS BEING SUPER WEIRD!

♫ MUESTRAME EL CAMINO QUE YO VOY OH ♫

**♪ Chat Noir:** I’M NAKED DON’T COME IN!

 **♪ Chat Noir:** Claws in claws in!

[Chat Noir has left the chatroom]  
  


* * *

  
..Starting  
...Initialising private channel

Private Chatroom: Ladybug - **Creation**

...  
[Ladybug has entered the chatroom]  


**Ladybug:** Okay, like we practiced

 **Ladybug:** Yoyo open menu 

Opening Menu...

> **Miraculous:** Earrings of the ladybug  
>  **Aspects:** Creation and Good Fortune 
> 
> **Active powers:**  
>  The Miraculous enhances all physical attributes  
>  Miraculous Glamour protects the identity of the wielder  
>    
>  **Protective Suit:** ACTIVE  
>  **Weapon:** Yoyo --- **Communicator mode:** ACTIVE  
>  **Lucky charm, current form:** N/A

  


**Ladybug:** Okay, so far so good

 **Ladybug:** Yoyo show powers

  


> **Powers:**
> 
> **Creation - Lucky Charm:** Creates a single object. 
> 
> **Good Fortune - Miraculous Cure:** A powerful blast of healing magic. Can be used to heal a group of people, an entire city or, in the hands of a powerful, experienced wielder, an entire kingdom. 
> 
> **Balance - Purify:** Resets any magical effect to its default state.

  


**Ladybug:** Interesting 

**Ladybug:** A whole kingdom huh? Better start practicing

 **Ladybug:** Okay, that was enough talking to myself. Let’s see…

 **Ladybug:** Yoyo open communicator menu?

Opening Communicator Menu

[1] Other Miraculous currently active: Black Cat

**Ladybug:** Okay here goes nothing

 **Ladybug:** Yoyo connect to black cat miraculous

...Connecting  
…  
...Invitation accepted  
...Initialising shared channel  
…

[Ladybug created: Shared chatroom]

[Ladybug has entered Shared chatroom]

**Ladybug:** All right, now where is that cat 

[Chat Noir has entered Shared chatroom]  
…  
♫ DESPACITO ♫

**Ladybug:** What?

 **Chat Noir:** Ladybug! 

♫ VAMOS A HACERLO EN UNA PLAYA EN PUERTO RICO ♫

**Ladybug:** Chat Noir? What is this?

 **Chat Noir:** I’m so sorry about this. 

♫ HASTA QUE LAS OLAS GRITEN "IAY, BENDITO!" ♫

**Chat Noir:** Please baton stop! 

♫ PARA QUE MI SELLO SE QUEDE CONTIGO ♫

**Chat Noir:** Please! 

♫ PASITO A PASITO, SUAVE SUAVECITO ♫

**Ladybug:** Have you tried ‘Baton stop playing music’?

 **Chat Noir:** Baton stop playing music!

  


**Ladybug:**...

 **Ladybug:** Did it stop?

 **Chat Noir:** Oh, blessed silence. 

**Ladybug:** Okay good 

**Chat Noir:** No, that was very bad. 

**Chat Noir:** 0/10 would not recommend. 

**Chat Noir:** Ugh.

  


**Ladybug:** So…

 **Chat Noir:** Please just five minutes.

 **Ladybug:** All right

  


**Chat Noir:** Okay I’m done. 

**Chat Noir:** Just had to lay on my back for a while.

 **Chat Noir:** On a rooftop. 

**Chat Noir:** In blessed silence.

 **Chat Noir:** I’m pretty sure this supersuit enhances my hearing, the past 30 minutes have not been fun.

 **Chat Noir:** It wouldn’t turn of and it just kept looping!

 **Chat Noir:** I had to climb up my roof without the supersuit just to make it out unnoticed.

 **Chat Noir:** Never again. 

**Chat Noir:** Ladybug? 

  


**Chat Noir:** Ladybug? 

  


**Chat Noir:** Lady?

 **Chat Noir:** No that’s weird. 

**Chat Noir:** M’Lady?

 **Chat Noir:** M’Ladybug?

  


**Chat Noir:** Hello? 

**Ladybug:** Oh I’m so sorry! 

**Ladybug:** I’m here! 

**Ladybug:** I felt weird standing around on a roof waiting so I figured I’d try and practice some…

 **Ladybug:** Superhero things??

 **Ladybug:** I’m halfway up the eiffel tower rn 

**Chat Noir:** Oh wow! 

**Chat Noir:** That’s so cool! 

**Chat Noir:** You’re already doing such cool things and I’m just laying on a rooftop. 

**Chat Noir:** You’re so good at this superheroing Ladybug!

 **Ladybug:** Oh

 **Ladybug:** Huh, thanks. I really didn’t feel like it 

**Ladybug:** Today was terrifying and I’m not looking forwards to having to do it again

 **Ladybug:** But I guess we’ll have to, right?

 **Chat Noir:** Yeah, I guess so.

 **Chat Noir:** So.

 **Ladybug:** Superhero partner

 **Chat Noir:** Superhero partner!

 **Chat Noir:** So I just wanted to say. 

**Chat Noir:** I was a bit reckless today. 

**Chat Noir:** And I rushed in too quickly without knowing how my powers worked.

 **Chat Noir:** I would have probably been in a lot of trouble if it wasn’t for your brilliant plan! 

**Chat Noir:** So thank you for being great! 

**Chat Noir:** And I’ll do my best to be a good partner to you. 

**Chat Noir:** Not like today. 

**Ladybug:** Oh, thank you Chat 

**Ladybug:** So…

 **Ladybug:** I was kind of going to say the same thing

 **Ladybug:** You didn’t know how your powers worked, sure, but we’re both new at this, and you just went for it! 

**Ladybug:** I was really scared, and I don’t think I could have gotten into that stadium if it hadn’t been for you

 **Ladybug:** You were very brave, if it wasn’t for you, that other girl could have gotten very hurt 

**Ladybug:** So thank you for saving her, and trusting me when I yelled my weird plan at you

 **Ladybug:** Also you didn’t know how your powers worked but I also let that butterfly just fly off so I think we’re even

 **Chat Noir:** Wow, yeah, I guess we are even.

 **Chat Noir:** We’ll both have to learn. 

**CHat Noir:** I’m guessing you also just found your magic jewelry today?

 **Ladybug:** Yes, it was in my bag

 **Chat Noir:** Same for me. 

**Ladybug:** So, I’ll also do my best to be a good partner to you, Chat

 **Ladybug:** Let’s learn together, all right? 

**Chat Noir:** Yes! 

**Chat Noir:** I’m so glad you want to keep going! Today was terrifying but also a lot of fun!

 **Chat Noir:** And you know what. 

**Chat Noir:** I think we’re good at this!

 **Ladybug:** Yes, I think so too 

**Ladybug:** Though maybe don’t play Despacito during battles :P 

**Chat Noir:** …

 **Chat Noir:** I’ll try, M’Lady!

 **Chat Noir:** But no promises!

 **Chat Noir:** So the eiffel tower? I can probably get there from here. 

**Chat Noir:** I want to climb the eiffel tower too! 

**Chat Noir:** Oh! Wait! I think I can see you! 

**Chat Noir:** Look across the river! I’m waving!

 **Chat Noir:** Can you see me? 

**Ladybug:** Gimme a minute 

**Ladybug:** No, I can’t see anything

 **Ladybug:** It’s way too dark 

**Chat Noir:** Huh

 **Chat Noir:** My hearing is much better, do you think I could have nightvision too? 

**Ladybug:** Idk magic is real so why not 

**Ladybug:** And your eyes sure did look weird

 **Chat Noir:** My eyes? 

**Ladybug:** Yes? 

**Ladybug:** Cat eyes? 

**Chat Noir:** I have cat eyes?!

 **Ladybug:** Yes? 

**Ladybug:** Did you not look in a mirror? 

**Chat Noir:** No?!

 **Chat Noir:** I was too busy trying to get my baton to stop playing Despacito.

 **Chat Noir:** I have to see this. 

**Ladybug:** Later, race me up the eiffel tower first

 **Ladybug:** Or are you too much of a scaredy-chat >:) 

**Chat Noir:**...

 **Chat Noir:** No.

 **Chat Noir:** That was a good joke. 

**Chat Noir:** But no, I’m not scared. Better start climbing because I’m determined to CHATch up! 

**Ladybug:**...

 **Ladybug:** What have I done... 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heya, it is me, Sundews, your resident biologist and bogwitch. I hope you've enjoyed this here story :)  
> We'll probably update once a week, the story is at about 15k words so far, but will be longer. It'll loosely follow canon till about season 2, from where we'll veer wildly of course.  
> Please let us know what you think in the comments!


	2. Enter Alya

{#?? has added you to ClassChat}

**Marinette**  
Hi Alya! This is the groupchat I told you about, everyone from our class is in here.  
We mostly use this for project planning but at least this way you’ll have everyone’s numbers :)  


**Alya**  
Hey everyone!  
I already met most of you I think, but for those I haven’t, my name is Alya. I just transferred from Lycée Carnot.  


**[#????]**  
Omg Alya, was that your footage on TV?!  
Were you really right there when the fight happened?!  


**[#?]**  
That was dope af  


**[#??]**  
It was very dangerous, but it is thanks to you that we knew there were superheroes out there at all  
I suspect there would have been much more all out panic, had you not submitted that footage  


**Alya**  
Heya, yes that was me! I’m actually hoping to become a journalist someday, and I love superheroes, so this is more or less a dream come true  


**Marinette**  
Guys please, you promised to drop the superhero talk for 5 minutes so I could add Alya -_-  


**Alya**  
Thanks Marinette <3 But I’m here now and I’m 100% down to talk superheroes!  
(Marinette here is a non-believer, but don’t worry, I’ll get her to trust in our new protectors)  


**[#???]**  
I trust Ladybug and Chat Noir! They saved my life!  


**Marinette**  
It’s not that I don’t trust them, it’s just...  
you’re all talking about that attack like it was super cool and the best thing that happened in forever.  
And, well, the attack itself was pretty scary, I think...  
Alya, you got trapped beneath a car, how are you so calm about that?  


**Alya**  
Oh I mean, I’ll have a few nightmares probably but it’s no biggie  


**[#????]**  
You got trapped beneath a car?! Oh no...  


**Alya**  
It’s okay, Ladybug saved me!  
Also Mari how did you know? Where you that close to the fight?  
Did you get footage!??!  


**Marinette**  
Yes! I mean no! I was close  
Too close, I ran after you but I got turned into a rock monster  
I don’t remember anything after, sorry :(  


**Alya**  
Omg girl! That’s sick  


**[#?]**  
Wow, heckyeah.  


**[#???]**  
Rock monster Marinette! That’s so cool!  


**[#?]**  
Shame you don’t remember it, that must’ve been insane  


**Alya**  
I wonder if Ivan still remembers anything?  


**[#?]**  
Have you talked to Ivan yet, Kim?  


**[#???]**  
I can’t find him!  


{You changed #???’s name to “Kim?”}

**Alya**  
Btw everyone I literally only have Marinette’s number, so if you could all give me your names real quick that’d be great  


**[#??]**  
I’m Max, we spoke briefly  


{You changed #??’s name to “Max (tech guy)”} 

**Kim?**  
I’m Kim  


**[#????]**  
Rose here!  


**[#?]**  
Alix  


{You changed #????’s name to “Rose”} 

{You changed #?’s name to “Alix (pink n punk)”}

**Marinette**  
I don’t think you’ll find Yvan anytime soon, Kim  
I saw him and Mylene walk off together after the attack  
Hand in hand ^^  
They’re probably hiding from reporters somewhere private  


**Rose**  
Awww that’s so romantic!!!  


{You changed Rose’s name to “Rose (pink n prep)”}

**Alix (pink n punk)**  
Not your typical first date, but I guess they won’t forget that anytime soon  


**Alya**  
Can you imagine being brought together by a pair of superheroes?!  
That’s so romantic and memorable!  
Do you guys think I could ask Ladybug to be my wingwoman?  


**Marinette**  
They’re probably a bit too busy being superheroes  
I can help you out tho! I’m not a superhero but I’ll do my best ^^  


**Alya**  
Shame, good thing I can count on you Mari! And don’t worry, I’ll return the favour!  
Don’t think I didn’t see how you were looking at Adrien today ;)  


**Rose (pink n prep)**  
Aw, you two are such good friends already! <3  
Also Mari, what’s this about Adrien??  


**Alix (pink n punk)**  
Yeah, I thought you hated his guts  
You really chewed him out, and on his first day too  
You go girl  
Last thing we need is another Chloe  


**Marinette**  
I know! But it was a misunderstanding  
We made up  
And there’s nothing else going on so you just shut up about that right now!!  


**[#??????]**  
There’d better not be. He’s miles out of your league  


**Alix (pink n punk)**  
What’s this? Chloe actually being online in this chat with us commoners?  
Shocking  


**Alya**  
Oh, it’s you -_-  


{You changed #??????’s name to “Bitch”} 

**Bitch**  
That’s right, though rest be assured I won’t be here for long  
I have better things to do  
However, Adrien did ask me if I could add him to this group  
#??-??  
You all better be nice to him, Sabrina will be keeping an eye out  


**[#?-?-?]**  
Yes, I will!  


**Ayla**  
Ugh  


{Max (tech guy) has added #??-??}

{You changed #??-??’s name to “Adrien (model boy)”}

{You changed #?-?-?’s name to “Minion”} 

**Adrien (model boy)**  
Hello everyone!  
Adrien here.  


**Alya**  
Heya other newbie  


**Adrien (model boy)**  
Other newbie? Are you new as well?  


**Alya**  
Yeah, it’s me, Alya  


**Adrien (model boy)**  
Oh hey, I thought you were already in the class  
Though I guess I was one day late  


**Marinette**  
Hi Adrine!  
*Adrien  


**Adrien (model boy)**  
Hi?  


**Marinette**  
It’s good to see you here!  
In the groupchat I mean  


**Alya**  
(^ That’s Marinette ^)  


**Adrien (model boy)**  
Oh hi Marinette!  
Sorry again for the bubblegum, I swear I was just trying to remove it.  
I don’t really know how to be in a class yet.  
I was homeschooled.  
So if I do weird things, please tell me I guess?  


**Marinette**  
Will od don’t wory!  


**Alix (pink n punk)**  
Sure, I’m Alix btw  


**Rose (pink n prep)**  
I’m Rose and indeed don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll fit right in ^^  


**Adrien (model boy)**  
Thank you, I’ll do my best!  


**Alya**  
So, now that we have most people here...  
I was wondering, during the stone golem attack  
Did anyone else get footage and if so, could you send it to me?  
I’m setting up a blog for the superheroes! It’d mean a lot to me  
I’m hoping to kickstart my journalistic career  


**Alix (pink n punk)**  
I don’t but I’m pretty sure Nath has some, I’ll ask  


**Max (tech guy)**  
I have some, although it is pretty blurry. Also, do you need any help with webpage design? I have a few templates  


**Alya**  
That’d be fantastic, I’ll PM you  
You’ll all be credited of course  
Just wait, it’s going to be amazing  
I can’t wait for the next supervillian!  


**Marinette**  
Please... don't jinx it  


* * *

[Chat Noir has entered Shared chatroom]

**Chat Noir:** Hey are you hearing screaming cause I'm hearing screaming

**Chat Noir:** Plz call me 

[Ladybug has entered Shared chatroom]

**Ladybug:** Sigh... I'm coming

* * *

**Alya**  
Yall hearing that?!?  
It’s my lucky day!!!  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't pick which chat format I wanted, so I did BOTH!
> 
> Thanks everyone for all the sweet comments, I super appreciate it <3


	3. Small Flying Roommates

**Chat Noir:** Hey Ladybug 

**Chat Noir:** Quick question 

**Chat Noir:** Do you have one of the flying creatures too?

 **Chat Noir:** Kwami

  


**Ladybug:** Hey Chat

 **Ladybug:** Yeah, I do, her name is Tikki 

**Ladybug:** I freaked out big time when she suddenly appeared

 **Chat Noir:** Oh, oh yeah I can imagine 

**Chat Noir:** Is yours a giant bug!? 

**Chat Noir:** Mine just looks like a small flying cat, not all that terrifying

 **Ladybug:** No, no, she's like, vaguely person shaped still??

 **Ladybug:** She just has the pattern. And antenna I suppose but that's where the resemblance ends.

 **Ladybug:** I thought she was a mouse at first

 **Ladybug:** Were you transformed for a reason btw? 

**Chat Noir:** No, I kind of just wanted to talk about that. 

**Chat Noir:** I'm not really sure what to do about Plagg?

 **Chat Noir:** They're supposed to be with us always, yeah? And if we take the jewellery off they disappear, so they can only exist when they're with us.

 **Chat Noir:** But idk, they're not humans but they're people???

 **Chat Noir:** It's weird having another person in my room all the time, I'm not used to it.

 **Chat Noir:** Like, do I entertain him? He looks like a cat but I can't treat him as a pet?

 **Chat Noir:** Do I buy him cat toys? 

**Chat Noir:** Where do I let him sleep? 

**Chat Noir:** Does he sleep?!

 **Chat Noir:** Is he even a he? I'm not even sure about that.

 **Chat Noir:** And most of all.

 **Chat Noir:** WHY DOES HE ONLY EAT SMELLY CHEESE, WHY?!?!!

 **Ladybug:** Smelly cheese?

 **Chat Noir:** "Only the finest camembert"

 **Ladybug:** Oh, oh oof

 **Chat Noir:** I'm kind of at my wits end. No one ever taught me how to handle sudden flying spirit creatures becoming your permanent roommate.

 **Ladybug:** Have you asked him? 

**Chat Noir:** What? 

**Ladybug:** Asked your kwami

 **Ladybug:** I kinda just sat Tikki down

 **Ladybug:** Well, it was mostly about the superpowers but also just, about her I suppose. I asked about her pronouns

 **Ladybug:** that's a good start for you maybe, I'm sure your kwami won't be offended, I mean, we can't be expected to tell the gender of something that only vaguely looks like a human

 **Ladybug:** And well, I asked her what she expected of me as her holder?

 **Ladybug:** Wielder?

 **Ladybug:** If she needed food, shelter, anything else 

**Ladybug:** And like, gosh 

**Ladybug:** This is kind of embarrassing 

**Chat Noir:** ???

 **Ladybug:** I asked her if she needed like, a tiny toilet somewhere? 

**Ladybug:** That makes sense right?!?!? That she'd need that???

 **Chat Noir:** Oh no, I didn't even think of that!

 **Ladybug:** Don't!!! Apparently what they eat just 'gets converted into pure energy and reabsorbed into the universe'

 **Ladybug:** They don't need toilets

 **Ladybug:** I figured I'd spare you the embarrassment of having to ask your tiny god creature

 **Chat Noir:** God? 

**Ladybug:** Yeah they're gods

 **Ladybug:** 'As old as the universe' gods

 **Chat Noir:** Then why look like tiny flying dolls? 

**Ladybug:** Beats me 

**Ladybug:** Anyway I got a small bag she can hide in during the day. I gave her the unlock code of my phone so she has entertainment 

**Ladybug:** Maybe a bad idea in hindsight 

**Chat Noir:** Yeah I won't be doing that

 **Ladybug:** She just sleeps on my bed 

**Chat Noir:** That's... that's weird right?

 **Ladybug:** Idk I didn't think about that I guess

 **Ladybug:** Well she didn't make it weird so I won't either

 **Chat Noir:** Okay, I'll try just asking him

 **Chat Noir:** Wish me luck 

  


**Chat Noir:** So.

 **Ladybug:** And, how did it go?? 

**Chat Noir:** I have to admit, I never heard of 'asking for pronouns'.

 **Chat Noir:** I didn't know it was a custom.

 **Chat Noir:** I had to google it sneakily while Plagg was distracted. 

**Chat Noir:** But, well, I asked. 

**Chat Noir:** He(?) looked at me like I'd grown a second head.

 **Ladybug:** Oh...

 **Ladybug:** So, it's he then?

 **Chat Noir:** Not exactly...

 **Chat Noir:** I'm not sure I recall his exact words.

 **Chat Noir:** Something along the lines of:

 **Chat Noir:** Give me a minute.

 **Chat Noir:** Are you kidding me, human. I cannot be bound by your dumb words. I am destruction, I was brought into the universe when the first superheated matter at the centre of everything violently exploded and I have roamed around the cosmos, tearing apart stars and planets that dwarf everything you'll ever known. I've seen your ancestors crawl out of the sea. Do you really think you could capture my essence with your pathetic 'pronouns'!

 **Ladybug:** Wow so nice and friendly 

**Ladybug:** Hmnn

 **Ladybug:** Probably nonbinary then

 **Chat Noir:** What?

 **Ladybug:** As in not male or female

 **Ladybug:** You could use gender neutral pronouns I guess

 **Ladybug:** They/them, safest bet if they refuse to choose 

**Chat Noir:** ...

 **Chat Noir:** Okay, I can work with that. 

**Chat Noir:** I'm very glad you at least have some idea how to handle ancient gods.

 **Ladybug:** Mine might just be a tad nicer 

**Chat Noir:** What does she eat? 

**Ladybug:** Cookies 

**Chat Noir:** SERIOUSLY!?!?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I headcanon Tikki as female identifying and Plagg as nonbinary but using he/him pronouns. Mostly because it'd be the opposite of Tikki (he doesn't care about human genders but he does care about Tikki)
> 
> Their relationship will improve as the story goes on, but I imagine it'd be pretty weird suddenly having a magical creature shadowing you 24/7, especially if said magical creature is not the nicest and you're not used to there being anyone around at all.


	4. Horrificator

**Alya**  
Morning all! Is everybody ready!?!?  


**Rose (pink n prep)**  
I have tea, cold drinks and Juleka has the makeup!  


**Mylene (rainbow dreads)**  
I’m nervous but ready  


**Marinette**  
As your producer I am ready to produce  


**Max (tech guy)**  
Since we’re meeting at 7:30, assuming no one slept in and taking everyone’s average punctuality into account, I predict we’ll be able to get started by 7:40. After setup we can start filming the first scenes at 8, which gives us exactly 10 hours to film every scene. Leaving us with 17 hours for editing and post production.  


**Kim?**  
Why are we doing all of this in one day again?  


**Nino**  
Thank you all so much for doing this, dudes and dudettes. This movie is gonna be a blast, I’ll tell you!  
Horrificator take one! Lights! Camera! Action!  


* * *

**Marinette**  
So, bad news and good news  
I can’t find Mylene, or Max, or Kim! But there’s weird pink goop everywhere and I think there’s an Akuma on the loose  


**Alya**  
Oh no!  


**Marinette**  
I did find someone else tho!  
[LadybugOnTheWindowsill.jpg]  
Ladybug is here!  


**Alix (pink n punk)**  
Heckyeah  


**Rose (pink n prep)**  
Oh hooray, we’re saved!  


**Marinette**  
I mean, not yet. But help is on the way!  
I wonder if I could...  
Wait  
gimme a minute  


**Alya:**  
Whatcha doing girl??  


{[m̳̹̬͖̬̙͂e͇͈̰̋́ͥ͊͌r̞͕͎͓ͬͯgi̢̻̺͇̟n̠̬͎̫g̢̦̙̱͈ ̬͍ͩ̂͑̕o̢͛͌ͫ͂̽̂̚p̼͇̠̖̈́̇̈́ͧͣ̈́ẽ̮̘͓ͫ̔͞r̻̅ͫͦͧ̋͊a̗̭̗̩̟̠͊ͩͨ͐̓̒͛͢t̽̇̂ͤ͛í̐n̳ͮ͐͒̿͊̎g̛͓͚̪̭͖͇ͪ̋ s̛͖̜͈͋ͣ̊ͯ̈́ͥy̜͎̽̉̊̽͗s̡̭̫̰͉̯͙ͬ͐̾͑ͯt͖͔̰̳̋̾ͨe̡̎̊ͯm̛̖̖͆̊͊͐ͅs҉̞̦̱̪̝}]

{?̶?̵?̸ has added Ladybug}

 **Ladybug**  
Hello? Does this work?  


**Alya**  
No way? Is that Ladybug?  
THE Ladybug?!?!  
That’s insane!  


**Alix (pink n punk)**  
Bugs? In my Groupchat? It’s more likely than you think!  


**Adrien (model boy)**  
Wait, but how?!  
Ladybug doesn’t have a phone?!  
Right?  


**Ladybug**  
Idk I just touched my yoyo to my phone  
*Marinette’s phone  
My yoyo is my phone, kind of  
Anyway, yes, I’m here and there indeed is also an Akuma here.  
I need all of you to go back to your classroom, close the door and stick together until I can reach you  
I’ll try to get there as fast as possible, but I’ve totally never been in this building before so it may take a while  


**Adrien (model boy)**  
Just follow Marinette, she knows the way!  


**Ladybug**  
Oh no she’s not coming I’m yeeting her out of the window right now  
To safety  


**Juleka (purple)**  
Savage  


**Alya**  
Ladybug I love you but don’t you dare yeet my friend!!!!!  


**Ladybug**  
To late she’s been yeeted  


**Alya**  
NO!!!  


**Marinette**  
I’m okay!  
She didn’t yeet me she let me down gently  
The slime sure covered all the walls now though so I can’t get back in  


**Alya**  
That’s okay girl, stay safe!  
Such a shame you’re going to miss the Akuma battle again!  


**Marinette**  
-_-  


* * *

**Nino**  
Can I just say  
I can’t believe we beat Horrificator with the power of music  


**Juleka (purple)**  
Yeah, I’d expected, I don’t know  
Fighting  


**Nathaniel (artsy)**  
Some epic standoff between the heroes and the monster  


**Alya**  
Do you guys think she picks her lucky charms?!?!  
Did you see her face, she was like, completely confused!!!!  


**Kim?**  
Oh man, I wish I’d seen that  


**Adrien (model boy)**  
Me too!  


**Alya**  
I have SO MANY QUESTIONS  
WHAT IF THE CHARM IS JUST RANDOM GUYS!?!?!?  


**Nino**  
That’d be kind of a useless superpower then...  


**Max (tech guy)**  
Well, seeing as black cats are a strong cultural omen of bad luck while ladybugs are, likewise, a good omen, it wouldn’t be a stretch to guess that they based their costumes on their powers. There is a chance that the lucky charm does give Ladybug random items, but she’s just very lucky every time.  
Alternatively, she may just be an excellent strategist  


**Adrien (model boy)**  
Or both  


**Alya**  
Probably both  
But how did she know about smelly wolf?!?!  
I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS  


**Marinette**  
Uhm, Alya... you do realise that Ladybug is in this chat, right?  


**Alya**  
WHAT  
NO WAY  
I KNEW LADYBUG WAS IN OUR SCHOOL!!!  
WHICH OF YOU IS LADYBUG??? FESS UP!  


**Marinette**  
No, I mean  
Max never kicked her out of the chat  


**Max (tech guy)**  
It seems disrespectful, she did save Paris multiple times  
Besides, I don’t even know how she got in this chat, since her phone is apparently a magical yoyo  
She isn’t listed anywhere  


**Marinette**  
Still, she isn’t our class  


**Alya**  
I DONT CARE  
Don’t you dare kick her out Max!  
Even if she never even reads this, we’ll still be in a chat with Ladybug!  
How cool is that!  


**Ladybug**  
uhm, hey Alya  


**Alya**  
LADYBUG!  


**Nino**  
Oh wow, hey Ladybug  


**Adrien (model boy)**  
No way!  


**Nathaniel (artsy)**  
Is Ladybug just in our groupchat now?  


**Ladybug**  
Well, Max never did kick me out  


**Alya**  
How do you know his name???  
And how did you know mine when we first met????  
Do you pick your lucky charm? Please I have to know  


**Ladybug**  
Ha I wish  


**Adrien (model boy)**  
Hey Ladybug, you should add Chat Noir too!  


**Alya**  
Yes more superheroes!  
Is that a no on the picking your lucky charm??  


**Ladybug**  
NNGNgng A lot of the superhero stuff is classified information, but I guess I can tell you. No, I don’t pick the Lucky Charms. So far it’s worked out well but yeah, it is just random items and yes, it is very stressful.  


**Max (tech guy)**  
So does that mean your power is just being lucky?  


**Ladybug**  
It sure doesn’t feel like it when you’re face to face with a deadly Akuma and you call upon your magic and you just get a spork.  


**Nathaniel (artsy)**  
have you ever gotten a spork??  


**Ladybug**  
Twice now  


**Kim?**  
Oof  


**Ladybug**  
Oof indeed  


**Kim?**  
F to pay respects  


**Nino**  
F  


**Rose (pink n prep)**  
F  


**Alya**  
F  


**Adrien (model boy)**  
F  


{?̵?̸?̶ has added Chat Noir}

 **Chat Noir**  
F  


**Alya**  
HOW?!?!?  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just casually posting one day too early cause tomorrow a friend of mine is coming over! Which normally wouldn't be a big deal but I literally haven't seen a single one of my friends in person since I started working from home because of Covid-19. (Which was on the 11th of march. Oof!) 
> 
> We'll still have to keep distance but whatever, I'm excited ^^ 
> 
> Also, in case anyone is wondering about the chronology of this story and the show in general. Well, so am I!  
> All the imporantant evens (other heroes getting their miraculi, Heroes day, Lila's introduction ect) I'm going to keep in the right order ofc but I can't for the life of me keep track of which Akuma happened when. So, improvisation!


	5. Hide and Seek

[Chat Noir has entered Shared Chatroom]

**Chat Noir** Hey Ladybug if you see this, don't worry

 **Chat Noir:** I thought I heard screaming but it was a false alarm

[Ladybug has entered Shared Chatroom]

**Ladybug** Okay, thanks for telling

 **Chat Noir:** No problem! 

**Ladybug:** Still transformed? It's almost ten

 **Chat Noir:** Yeah, I 'went to bed' early for once

 **Chat Noir:** Want to come out and climb the Eiffel tower again? 

**Chat Noir:** Or maybe the Notre Dame?

 **Ladybug:** It's such a weird idea that we can just

 **Ladybug:** get up and do that

 **Ladybug:** I can't though, I have homework to catch up on

 **Chat Noir:** You're doing homework transformed?

 **Ladybug:** ...

 **Ladybug:** Honestly, I'm just kind of worried an Akuma is going to show up while I'm not near a television/have my phone on

 **Ladybug:** And I don't want to have my phone near me when I'm doing homework cause I know I'll get distracted

 **Ladybug:** So yes, I'm doing homework transformed

 **Ladybug:** Using my superpowers for good 

**Chat Noir:** ...

 **Chat Noir:** I'm literally just loitering on the rooftops

 **Chat Noir:** I should not have doubted you my lady, you're still the better superhero between the two of us even when you're not on the clock.

 **Ladybug:** Aww, thank you Chat 

**Ladybug:** I'm counting on your enhanced senses to notice any wayward akuma though, so for now, the fate of Paris rests on your shoulders

 **Chat Noir:** Yay! Responsibility!

 **Ladybug:** Shouldn't have accepted the magic jewellery if you weren't down for that, Chat :P

 **Chat Noir:** No regrets 

**Ladybug:** Anyway, it's homework time now

 **Ladybug:** Shush 

**Chat Noir:** :(

  


**Chat Noir:** Ladybug 

  


**Chat Noir:** Laaadybug

 **Ladybug:** What?

 **Chat Noir:** I'm bored

 **Ladybug:** Sounds like a you problem 

  


**Chat Noir:** Are you done yet? 

**Ladybug:** No

 **Chat Noir:** I can't believe I'm being ignored in favour of homework

 **Chat Noir:** and I can't believe you're actually making homework transformed

 **Chat Noir:** Are you really just in your room in costume? 

**Ladybug:** It works, though it is kind of stressful. I'm kind of scared someone is going to come in.

 **Ladybug:** I'm just mostly buried under a pile of blankets, just to be sure

 **Ladybug:** It's just

 **Ladybug:** Ugh

 **Ladybug:** Don't get me wrong the superheroing is really cool and I'm glad I don't have something ridiculous like a bell on my costume

 **Chat Noir:** Hey! 

**Ladybug:** But... just... the colour 

**Ladybug:** Red with black spots 

**Ladybug:** I'm red with black spots all over, Chat!

 **Chat Noir:** Don't worry m'Lady, I think it looks lovely on you.

 **Ladybug:** That's not the point! I mean, how am I ever going to hide?!

 **Ladybug:** Where can I even hide? Where could I go where I wouldn't immediately stand out?

 **Chat Noir:** Haha!

 **Ladybug:** The day a hide-and-seek Akuma forms, Chat, it will all be over for me 

**Ladybug:** Don't tell Hawkmoth, he'd win instantly

 **Ladybug:** No amount of super agility can save me from my fate...

 **Ladybug:** Paris will be doomed 

**Ladybug:** I'm sorry Chat, I hate to leave you to fight on your own, but alas

 **Chat Noir:** Noooo! I'll save you Ladybug!

 **Chat Noir:** Don't worry, I can be silent! And I am all black!

 **Chat Noir:** Ill just get to the Akuma's base before he sees me and you'll be free again!

 **Ladybug:** That's... not exactly how it works, but I appreciate the attempt

 **Chat Noir:** :(

 **Chat Noir:** I'll... find the Akuma before it finds me?

 **Ladybug:** ...no, try again

 **Chat Noir:** Tag?? The Akuma???

 **Ladybug:** Chat do you know how hide and seek works????

 **Chat Noir:** ...

 **Chat Noir:** Not as well as I thought obviously.

 **Ladybug:** Okay 

**Ladybug:** Okay that's weird and a little worrying, but fine

 **Ladybug:** I'll teach you

 **Ladybug:** It's not like I'm getting much homework done anyway

 **Ladybug:** Where are you at, Chat? 

**Chat Noir:** Yay! 

**Chat Noir:** On the roof of the supermarket on Rue Lagrange

 **Ladybug:** Okay rule 1 of hide and seek 

**Ladybug:** Don't tell anyone where you are

 **Ladybug:** I'm coming for you Chat

 **Ladybug:** Counting from ten right now

 **Chat Noir:** Counting from ten?

 **Ladybug:** 10

 **Ladybug:** 9 

**Chat Noir:** Is that part of the game??

 **Ladybug:** 8 

**Chat Noir:** Ladybug?

 **Ladybug:** 7 

**Ladybug:** 6 

**Chat Noir:** I'm getting kind of scared

 **Ladybug:** 5 

**Chat Noir:** What's the countdown for!?!?!

 **Ladybug:** 4

 **Ladybug:** 3

 **Chat Noir:** D: 

**Ladybug:** 2

 **Chat Noir:** !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 **Ladybug:** 1 

**Ladybug:** RUN

  


**Chat Noir:** LADYBUG PLEASE 

**Ladybug:** No Mercy 

  


**Chat Noir:** Is this supposed to be fun! Do people do this for fun?! 

**Chat Noir:** Is it like how people watch horror movies for fun?!? 

**Ladybug:** less typing more hiding

 **Ladybug:** your tail is sticking out Chat

 **Chat Noir:** D: 

  


**Chat Noir:** You know, hiding is pretty stressful, but I do like seeking

 **Chat Noir:** [LadybugAmongTheLeaves.jpg] 

**Ladybug:** -_-

  


**Chat Noir:** m'Lady

 **Chat Noir:** [IsItABirdIsItAChimneyNOItsLadybug.jpg] 

  


**Chat Noir:** [Alleybug.mov]  


> The view cuts in on Chat's face, he’s grinning at the camera with behind him the skyline of Paris at night. He winks and then puts his finger to his lips in a 'shush' motion. The camera turns around to show a blurry view of a rooftop as Chat starts moving. He jumps off a roof and lands softly in an alleyway. A silhouette is visible up ahead, half crouched behind a garbage container and with their back to the camera, the light from the street just close enough you can make out her red and black suit. Very slowly, the camera moves closer until it is right behind her. A clawed hand appears from offscreen, slowly reaching for her shoulder. Suddenly, it touches her, and we hear Chat softly say 'boo'. Ladybug screams and jumps up into the air, almost knocking over the massive container. The camera turns and the view blurs again as Chat speeds away, cackling. We hear Ladybug scream in rage before the view cuts out.  
> 

**Ladybug:** How did you even see me there?!?!

 **Ladybug:** Nvm I know, I can't believe you got both the camouflage and the nightvision -_-

 **Ladybug:** THIS GAME IS RIGGED 

**Chat Noir:** :3 

  


**Chat Noir:** [Ladygargoyle.jpg]

 **Chat Noir:** That one was very creative

 **Ladybug:** Look closer 

**Chat Noir:** ???

  


**Chat Noir:** What?!?!

 **Chat Noir:** ...

 **Chat Noir:** Okay 

**Chat Noir:** There's no way you were carrying a life-size, realistic Ladybug mannequin on you. Is this your lucky charm?!

 **Ladybug:** >:) 

**Chat Noir:** IT IS!

 **Chat Noir:** Did you turn back?

 **Ladybug:** >:)

 **Chat Noir:** But how will I find you? :( 

**Ladybug:** >:)

 **Ladybug:** Guess you'll remain the seeker forever chat

 **Ladybug:** Now, if you'll excuse me, I have homework to get back to :P

 **Chat Noir:** :(

 **Chat Noir:** I'm keeping this :P

 **Ladybug:** Be my guest

[Ladybug has left Shared Chatroom]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you all like the video part? I only thought of it a few hours ago, but my Beta reader is still asleep so I couldn't run it by her. I hope it doesn't break the flow of the story too much, otherwise, I guess I'll just cut it out. Please let me know what you think, I'd appreciate the feedback ^^ 
> 
> (Also, next up will be the first mini-arc! Stay tuned!)


	6. Party Planning

**Rose (pink n prep)**  
Hello everyone <3  
We have some exciting news to share!  


**Nathaniel (artsy)**  
Did you two finally start dating?  


**Juleka (purple)**  
NO!  


**Rose (pink n prep)**  
Don’t be silly ^^  
No, but we are throwing a birthday party!  


**Nathaniel (artsy)**  
Nice, the both of you?  


**Juleka (purple)**  
Yeah, it’ll be at my place  


**Rose (pink n prep)**  
My birthday was a while ago but I couldn’t really celebrate it, but there’s plenty of room at Juleka’s!  
It’ll be next week on Saturday  
Oh and don’t wear your best set of clothes, just a warning ^^  


**Mylene (rainbow dreads)**  
I’m looking forwards to it!  
Do you two have a wish list?  


**Juleka (purple)**  
Not really  


**Rose (pink n prep)**  
Weeeell, I was thinking about redecorating my room  
I’d love to get some string lights in fun colours, or maybe some of those cool glow in the dark stars  
And, well, some new furniture, but I’m not entirely sure which colour I want yet  


**Nathaniel (artsy)**  
Pink?  


**Alix (pink n punk)**  
We’ll go with pink  


* * *

{Private Message from: Adrikins}  


**Adrikins**  
Chloe?  


**Chloé**  
Adrikins! To what do I owe the pleasure <3  


**Adrikins**  
I kind of need your advice...  
Did you check the class groupchat?  


**Chloé**  
Of course not, don’t be ridiculous  


**Adrikins**  
Oh, all right  
You should, maybe  
Rose and Juleka are planning a party  


**Chloé**  
I don’t see how that is of any concern to me  


**Adrikins**  
Well, they just put it in the class chat  
And I’m not sure if I’m invited?  


**Chloé**  
So?  
Do you want to be invited?  


**Adrikins**  
Well  
I came to school to make new friends  


**Chloé**  
I know, I helped you get in, remember  
*sigh* fine  
Any invitation for a public event, such as a birthday party, placed in a groupchat is an open invitation to anyone in that chat  
Simple etiquette  
They won’t email Nathalie or your father, there won’t be a guest list  
You’re expected to contact them yourself if you can’t be there  


**Adrikins**  
Okay  
Do you think I should go?  
Are you going?  


**Chloé**  
Why, too cowardly to go to a party on your own, Agreste?  
I’m not going. I went to a party at Juleka’s once, years ago. Never again.  
Whatever you’re expecting, it won’t be like that.  
No banquet, no gala or guest list or servers running around, no dance floor in a massive auditorium.  
It will just be you and the rest of the class, crammed into a small dark room with sub-par snacks, sitting on the floor and playing dumb games. It will be like they haven’t even put any effort into it.  
It will be a humiliating and awkward experience!  
And you’re more than welcome to come to the luxury sauna on Saturday with me instead  


**Adrikins**  
Thanks Chloé, but no thanks  
That actually sounds amazing, and I think I’d like to go  


**Chloé**  
Really?  
Did you not listen to anything I just said?!  
They’ll make you sit on the ground!  
You’ll have to eat with your hands, off a paper plate, like an animal!  
There will only be the one planned activity and if you don’t want to participate you’ll have to sit back until they’re all done!  
They’ll do dumb party games and will try to pry your deepest darkest secrets out of you for their own sick entertainment!!!  


**Adrikins**  
What do you think I should buy them as presents?  


**Chloé**  
Ugh  
Adrien, I love you but if you want to hang out with peasants that’s your choice, don’t expect any more help from me  
You get more money in a month than they’ll have in their entire life. Just buy something expensive, you’ll figure it out  


**Adrikins**  
Thanks a lot Chloé  
For everything  


**Chloé**  
Yeah yeah, good luck surviving the peasants’ party  


* * *

{Private Message from: Adrien} 

**Adrien**  
Nino?  


**Nino**  
ey what’s up dude  


**Adrien**  
Did you see the groupchat?  


**Nino**  
Sure did  
Excited for the party?  


**Adrien**  
Yes! But also a little nervous...  
I’m not sure what to buy them as presents  
What’s a normal party budget?  


**Nino**  
Oh!  
Don’t worry, bro! I gotcha!  
So generally 10 to 15 euros is good for a birthday present.  
And you can either buy a small thing or you can team up with a buddy going to the same party and buy something for 25-30 euro’s together. It’s much easier that way.  


**Adrien**  
A buddy you say? :3  


**Nino**  
Yeah maybe like, someone who’s been in the same class as them for forever  
Don’t worry, dude. I already got some great ideas. Up for a shopping trip?  


**Adrien**  
Yes! Thank you so much Nino!  


* * *

{Private Message from: Chloé} 

**Chloé**  
Sabrina!  


**Sabrina**  
What is it, Chloé?  


**Chloé**  
I need you to do something for me  
At Juleka and Rose’s party next weekend  
I need you to go and keep an eye on Adrien  
I can’t accompany him myself, I have important things planned  


**Sabrina**  
To Juleka and Rose’s party?  
Without you?  


**Chloé**  
Yes, as I said, I can’t attend  
It’s not ideal. But I don’t want to leave him to those simpletons  
And he’s dead set on going  


**Sabrina**  
All right. I’ll do it, of course. I’m a bit nervous about that though. I haven’t gone to their parties in years.  
Ever since the last time you went  


**Chloé**  
We do not speak of that  
I know it is a lot. But surely you can handle one peasant's party without me there to protect you?  


**Sabrina**  
I...  
I’ll do my best, Chloé  


**Chloé**  
Good  
If anything goes wrong with Adrien, I need you to tell me immediately  


**Sabrina**  
I will  
What do you think would be a good present to bring?  


**Chloé**  
Not you too!  


* * *

{Marinette created ‘ClassChat(1)’}

{Marinette renamed ‘ClassChat(1)’ to ‘Party Planning’}

{Marinette removed ‘Juleka (purple)’ and ‘Rose (pink n prep)’ from Party Planning}

 **Marinette**  
All right homies  
I’ve got a PlanTM  


**Alya**  
What?  


**Marinette**  
I’ve got a PlanTM and I need support  
Im giving you all three days to get presents for the party, or an idea for a present  
Whoever doesn’t have anything by then I will enlist to help with the PlanTM  


{Bitch has left Party Planning}

 **Alya**  
This sounds much more intense than my normal birthday present buying routine  
But I’m kind of into it  


**Nino**  
Me n Adrien are going shopping tomorrow, so we’ve got it covered.  


**Adrien (model boy)**  
We are?  


**Nino**  
But good luck, can’t wait to see what you come up with, dudes!  


**Adrien (model boy)**  
Wait I can’t just go shopping tomorrow, I’d have to run it by Nathalie first!  


**Nino**  
I’ll bribe your bodyguard, it’ll be fine  


**Adrien (model boy)**  
Okay?  


{Nino has left Party Planning}

 **Adrien (model boy)**  
Uh, good luck then, everyone  


{Adrien (model boy) has left Party Planning}

 **Marinette**  
All right, still plenty of people left  


**Nathaniel (artsy)**  
I’ll gladly help with the PlanTM  


**Alya**  
I’m confused but yeah, sign me up!  


**Marinette**  
Yessss  
It’s all coming together!  


**Minion**  
Uhm  
I’d like to volunteer as well  
For the plan  


**Nathaniel**  
Huh?  


**Marinette**  
Sabrina?  
Are you actually coming to the party?  


**Minion**  
Yes actually, it’s, I wanted to  
It’s been a while I know  


**Marinette**  
Okay. Unexpected but what I have in mind is actually pretty big, so I’d appreciate the help  


**Minion**  
That’s okay I’ll help!  


**Marinette**  
Sweet, okay let’s give it three days and let’s see how many people we end up with  
Step 1, in progress...  
It’s going to be great, I can tell!  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi folks, time to go into the first little mini-arc :) We'll be sticking with the civillians for the next three chapters. Oh, and next chapter we'll see the villians in action! 
> 
> Also, real talk. Check out my formatting. It's pretty nice and consistent, right? For those wondering how much time it takes me: none at all. I have a python script that does it for me. There's a lot of people out there trying to convince you programming is really hard, don't listen. They're overselling themselves. Even if you just learn the basics, it's already a big help in day to day life, and I'd recommend it to anyone.


	7. Pigeons and Parenting

**Nathalie**  
Adrien, you have a shoot scheduled next weekend. Your fathers new fall line, in le Parc Floral  
Your bodyguard will get you there, everything you need will be on site.  
The exact time will be picked once we have a better idea of what the weather will be like.  


**Adrien**  
Okay, I'll make sure I'm ready  
Nathalie?  


**Nathalie**  
Yes  


**Adrien**  
If, say, the weather is nice all weekend.  
Is there a way you could maybe set a preference?  
Say, Sunday instead of Saturday?  


**Nathalie**  
Why would you want me to do that, Adrien?  


**Adrien**  
Well  
Two classmates of mine are organising a birthday party  
And I'd really like to go  


**Nathalie**  
Is this for purely recreational purposes?  


**Adrien**  
Well, I think it's important to have a good bond with my classmates?  


**Nathalie**  
Don't add question marks to your sentences while making a statement, Adrien. It's important to appear confident, even if you're not talking face to face with someone.  
I'll see what I can do.  
But I will warn you, since it's not an essential activity, I can not let it weight in much.  


**Adrien**  
Okay  
Thank you for trying.  


**Nathalie**  
Of course.  


**Adrien**  
Would you be able to move it to Sunday if it was for networking?  


**Nathalie**  
If it was, yes.  
But I highly doubt you don’t get enough changes to network with your classmates during school hours.  


**Adrien**  
I mean, I do, but not enough time to network with everyone.  
I mostly hang out with Nino.  
Did you know he DJs? I know that doesn’t have much overlap with the fashion industry, but he is really good! He might become famous someday.  
Also, Marinette is a designer. She’s in my class but we haven’t talked much yet. She’s a little shy but maybe being at a party will be a better environment for her to talk to people?  
Oh and Juleka is also interested in modelling, I heard. She’s one of the two organising the party!  
That’d be kind of like networking right? If I can go to her house and talk fashion with her, I could see if she actually has potential.  
You know what’s really cool? She lives on a boat!  
That’s actually where the party will be  
Oh and also  


* * *

**Gabriel Agreste**  
Nathalie!  
I need your aid, now!  


**Nathalie**  
I was just arranging your son’s schedule  
Is it urgent?  


**Gabriel Agreste**  
Very! We may only have a small timeframe.  


**Nathalie**  
Please tell me you don’t need me to proofread another one of your evil monologues?  


**Gabriel Agreste**  
[PigeonAkuma_Concept.docx]  
Another victim on the brink of snapping. So many negative emotions building up with no outlet... ready for me to exploit!  
His rage is pure and strong. I feel like this might be the one. The perfect Akuma to take down Ladybug and Chat Noir once and for all!  


**Nathalie**  
You know, my qualifications lay mostly in the fields of business and management.  
Apologies, sir. I am reading the file and I need some clarification.  
This man is angry because of pigeons?  


* * *

**Adrien**  
And he made it himself! Or made him himself?  
I’m pretty sure Markov is a person? Everyone in the class treats him like he is? And the few times I’ve talked to him, he sounded like a person.  
Do robots have a gender? Maybe I should ask for their pronouns...  
Anyway!  


* * *

**Nathalie**  
Sir, you can not base the Akuma’s costume on your upcoming fall line.  
I don’t know why I have to tell you this, your cover would be blown in an instant.  
That or you would have to sue your own evil alter ego for theft of intellectual property.  


**Gabriel Agreste**  
Nathalie! His rage is fading away! We are losing our chance! Our shot at defeating the heroes once and for all!  
What would you suggest I do? Miss a change at creating the perfect Akuma because of their costume?!  


**Nathalie**  
If said costume would blow your cover, yes!  
There will be other people in Paris susceptible to Akumas. It is not like this is your only chance ever.  
To be honest, I have my doubts about the effectiveness of this ‘Pidgeon man’  
Also, the name.  
You should change it.  


**Gabriel Agreste**  
Why? Would it also blow my cover?  


**Nathalie**  
No.  
But in my professional opinion, it sounds really dumb.  


* * *

**Adrien**  
It’s actually really amazing, all the things she does!  
A lot of people rely on the Ladyblog for the Akuma alerts, even over the news.  
I don’t know how Alya does it. I have the feeling she’s even better at finding Akuma’s then the heroes are!  
That’s pretty amazing, right?  


* * *

**Nathalie**  
Sir, with all due respect. Pigeons are not threatening animals.  
They’re menaces at best, common pests at worst.  
‘It worked for Batman’ is no valid argument.  
Is ‘Pidgeonman’ a name that strikes fear into your heart? Does that sound like an Akuma capable of taking down the heroes of Paris?  
Please, sir. Be honest.  


* * *

**Adrien**  
Nathalie?  


* * *

**Gabriel Agreste**  
Fine then! You do it!  
If we keep fighting over this his emotions will be too weak for me to work with.  
We have to act now!  
So Nathalie, what would you have me do?!  


**Nathalie**  
I can not fathom how I ended up having to do this.  
You employ a small army of professional designers.  


**Gabriel Agreste**  
Nathalie! Now!  


**Nathalie**  
Fine.  
Just give him a spandex supersuit.  
And make it match the colour scheme of a city pigeon.  


**Gabriel Agreste**  
And then?  


**Nathalie**  
That’s it.  


**Gabriel Agreste**  
...  
You can’t be serious.  


**Nathalie**  
I am.  
You know, I am not, in fact, a designer by trade.  
Unlike pretty much everyone else you employ.  


**Gabriel Agreste**  
I’ll be the laughing stock of all of Paris!  


**Nathalie**  
Hawkmoth will be. You will be fine. No one will be able to tell this Akuma was created by you.  
No offense sir, but I think people will hate Hawkmoth for his obvious acts of terrorism first, and for his poor Akuma designs second.  
And also, it does not matter either way. You said it yourself. Getting the miraculi and reversing the timeline is all that matters.  
No one will even remember this.  


**Gabriel Agreste**  
...  
I can’t believe I am about to do this...  


**Nathalie**  
And name him ‘Mr. Pigeon’.  


**Gabriel Agreste**  
How is that any better than Pigeonman?!  


**Nathalie**  
It sounds more elegant.  
Slightly more elegant.  
I am trying, sir.  


**Gabriel Agreste**  
All right, fine.  


* * *

**Ladybug:** You can come out now, Chat. I'm about to bring the Akuma victim home

 **Ladybug:** Maybe see if you can find a back door, though. I scared off all the pigeons but there are still feathers everywhere

 **Chat Noir:** Thanks Ladybug

 **Chat Noir:** Hey 

**Chat Noir:** Do you think Hawkmoth makes up the costumes and names for all these villains?

 **Chat Noir:** Or do you think he just kind of, pumps dark magic into them and they pick their own names and powers?

 **Ladybug:** Honestly 

**Ladybug:** I have no idea

 **Ladybug:** For Hawkmoths sake, I hope it’s the latter. Especially after today 

* * *

**Nathalie**  
Apologies Adrien  
It has been a very busy afternoon  
I’m afraid that even with your classmates various skills and qualifications, I can not consider a birthday party a networking event.  
Still, I’ll see what I can do.  


* * *

**Gabriel Agreste**  
This was a disaster...  
I can never go out in public again.  


**Nathalie**  
You haven’t done so in over a year, sir. Surely, you’ll manage.  


**Gabriel Agreste**  
Seeing my Akuma’s defeated by those horrid ‘heroes’ is bad enough.  
This was a shameful display. Downright pathetic!  
I must take some time to recover...  
Nathalie, cancel all my meetings for today.  
I’ll be in the basement.  


**Nathalie**  
Of course.  
If you’re taking the day off, perhaps you’d like to check up on your son? I know I’ve been giving you detailed reports on his progress but I have the feeling he’d like to report to you face to face.  


**Nathalie**  
Or not. Up to you, sir. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoops, I'm a day late! Sorry folks, we had visitors yesterday evening and I was a bit tipsy by the end of it. Didn't want to do the last formatting while not entirely bright. 
> 
> It was easily the highlight of my week. Things are still dreadfully boring here, which seems bizarre if you turn on the news. For any Americans who might be reading this, especially the black ones, we're cheering you on from across the ocean! I hope your country will be better by the end of this, stay strong!


	8. Afterparty

**Chloé**  
Sabrina?  
I believe I recall telling you to keep me updated on Adrien  
Well?  


**Chloé**  
You better have a good reason for this radio silence, Sabrina  


**Chloé**  
Sabrina! It has been a full day!  
You better tell me you and Adrien are still alive or I will have every single cop in Paris storm that dumb, hazardous houseboat!  


**Sabrina**  
Chlo im so sory  
Im here giv eme a minute  


**Chloé**  
What?  
Have you forgotten how to type?  
What a ridiculous start for your long overdue report  


**Sabrina**  
Sorry, I’m here. I just woke up but I couldn’t find my glasses  
I put them in the bathroom for safety  
I was scared someone would crush them if I left them in Juleka’s room  


**Chloé**  
Crush them?  
What even did they do to you?  
No nevermind, tell me. How was Adrien? Did he make it through the party all right?  
Also, it is over twelve. How did you only just wake up?  
I’m calling you!  


**Sabrina**  
No wait you can’t! The others are still asleep!  


**Chloé**  
What?!  
What do you mean, the others?  


**Sabrina**  
I’m still at Juleka’s  
It was a sleepover  
You knew this, right? You were invited  


**Chloé**  
You actually stayed?  


**Sabrina**  
Yeah?  


**Chloé**  
The whole time?  


**Sabrina**  
Well, we arrived kind of late. We had to drag the bed to the boat.  


**Chloé**  
The bed?  
So you didn’t have to sleep on the ground like an animal, good for you  


**Sabrina**  
Oh no, I had a sleeping bag  
I mean the bed Marinette made!  
And the rest, of course  
And me, I helped  


**Chloé**  
A bed?!  


**Sabrina**  
It was really cool, see, a lot of people in our class apparently ship Juleka and Rose  
Like, in the lesbian way...  
But they always deny it? I don’t think they’re actually in love  
But Rose wanted to decorate her room so Marinette had this idea to make these custom headboards.  
We finished painting them last Thursday. Juleka’s all purple and goth-like and Rose’s was pink  
To put on their beds. And also, they can kind of be locked together so if they ever get a two person bed they could use both the headboard as a single one  
And then last minute we also decided to add matching sheets  
It was kind of an elaborate prank, but the headboards were actually really nice  


**Chloé**  
Really?  


**Sabrina**  
Well, they were custom made, but the materials were very cheap  
Nothing like the things you have, of course  


**Chloé**  
Of course  
Well, I don’t care what you and Dupain-Cheng made, how was Adrien? Did he enjoy himself?  
Was he uncomfortable at any point?  


**Sabrina**  
Maybe all the way at the beginning  
The headboards were kind of heavy, and we had to carry them all the way from Marinette’s house to the Seine  
Adrien was already there when we came, he said he had a photoshoot later in the afternoon  
He was the first to leave, but I think he really enjoyed himself  
Even if he left before the party got too crazy  
He did miss the heroes though, I bet he’ll be sad about that once he finds out  
And I guess he will, Alya got footage  


**Chloé**  
The heroes?!  
Was there an akuma attack?  


**Sabrina**  
Oh no, there wasn’t. The heroes just showed up.  
Well, Chat Noir did, late in the evening. He said that since he is in our class’ groupchat he was automatically invited?  
Maybe he was just bored and heard the noise  
Ladybug showed up maybe 30 minutes later to drag him away, but Alya somehow roped her into doing karaoke with her  
I’m not sure how? Juleka’s mom spiked the punch so some of the night is a bit fuzzy  


**Chloé**  
She did what?!  
She spiked the punch! She drugged you?!  
No wonder the heroes had to show up! That is illegal!  
Come over to my house this instant we are going to sue her for all she’s worth and then some!  


**Sabrina**  
Oh no! Chloé don’t worry!  
She didn’t do it sneakily or anything  
She actually loudly announced it  
Said some rum would put hair on our chests??  
I hope that wasn’t literal?  
But there was also non-spiked punch and everything was labelled so I don’t think you can sue her?  


**Chloé**  
Then how did you end up drinking it?!  


**Sabrina**  
I wanted to?  


**Chloé**  
...  


**Sabrina**  
Everyone was doing it!  
And it wasn’t much  
And everyone was having so much fun  
And I’m pretty sure Ladybug had some?  
It’s got to be okay if Ladybug does it, right?  


**Chloé**  
No way, there’s no way Ladybug actually showed up!  
It must have been an imposter, or a cosplayer. No way the actual Ladybug would show up to some dumb birthday party on Juleka ‘sad goth’ Couffaine’s dumb boat.  


**Sabrina**  
I’m pretty sure it was her  
[Karaoke.mov]  


> The clip is very short, only 10 seconds. It shows a somewhat blurry view of a poorly lit room packed to the brim with people, all cheering and yelling. Alya and Ladybug are standing next to each other on a makeshift stage. They’re both holding microphones and are bathed in disco lights, which look downright trippy on Ladybugs already spotted suit. They’re halfway through a song as the clip starts, and loudly sing “Ooooooh we’re halfway there! Woooaaaah, living on a prayer!!” Going horribly off key on the last few words. Alya is swaying on her feet and pretty much falls into Ladybug, giggling. The camera swings around unsteadily, aiming at the audience. Chat Noir is standing there, jumping up and down and cheering. He turn to the camera and smiles brightly, giving it two thumbs up and mouthing ‘best party ever’. 

**Chloé**  
No way  


**Sabrina**  
Alix also dared her to arm wrestle Kim and she won with ease, so I’m pretty sure she was the real Ladybug  
Also, I tried to get some dirt on Marinette. You didn’t ask me but I figured you’d want me too?  
She didn’t do too many weird things, but there was this moment  
[ChatNoirGoHome.mov] 

> A small, 5 seconds movie showing a weirded out Chat Noir standing in front of a table on which Marinette is half sprawled out. She’s looking at him, obviously tipsy, and yells “Chat Noir, go home!”, very sternly. She repeats it, and raises her finger in a vaguely treatening manner. Chat Noir just looks confused and then turns to the camera and shrugs.

She lost in a drinking game against Alix like, half an hour after the punch was spiked. And then she got weirdly upset when Chat Noir showed up? It was kind of strange  
She was mad at him but then a while later she just walked up to him and hugged him and yelled that he super was allowed to party with them if he wanted to, and she got weirdly emotional over it?  
And then Alya just put her to bed in the guest room  
She can’t deal with spiked punch apparently, you can definitely make fun of her for that  
I’m not sure if she woke up again after that? Ladybug showed up not long after and everyone was distracted by that  
I wonder if Ladybug also slept on the boat somewhere? It was really late  
Do you think I should check up on Marinette?  


**Chloé**  
Why? Why would you?  


**Sabrina**  
I don’t know. Sometimes people feel sick after drinking alcohol, right?  


**Chloé**  
So! That’s not your problem!  


**Sabrina**  
Wouldn’t it be a nice thing to do?  


**Chloé**  
Yes! And you have no reason to be nice to Marinette Dupain-Cheng!  


**Sabrina**  
I guess not  
HOLY SHIT  
CHLOE!  


**Chloé**  
What?!  


**Sabrina**  
I was sitting in the living room alone and actual freaking Ladybug just came out of the guest room!!!  
OUt of Marinette's room!!!  
She was just walking through the boat in front of me??  
And then she saw me and she like  
Winked and did finger guns at me??!!!  
And fled through the trapdoor  


**Chloé**  
...  


**Sabrina**  
I don’t know what to do with this information...  
Did Marinette sleep?? With Ladybug??  
In the same room???  
With only one bed?????  


**Chloé**  
There’s no way  
There’s literally no way  


**Sabrina**  
Oh man no one’s going to believe me  


**Chloé**  
STOP  
Just stop  
Sabrina, literally all you’ve send me is pure nonsense  
Utterly ridiculous  
Just message me once you’ve regained your senses  
I want an actual account of the party  
Not these fanciful fantasies  
Got it?!  


**Sabrina**  
Sorry Chloé  
I guess that wasn’t a very good explanation  
I shouldn’t waited until I was more awake  
I’ll try again later today  
How was your trip to the luxury sauna by the way?  


**Chloé**  
_[Unsend]_ It was fine I guess  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Juleka's mother put literally a single shot of rum in a massive bowl of punch and everyone went batshit crazy over it, as firsttime drinkers often do.  
> Nah, forreal tho. Underage drinking? Not cool. Writing about underage drinking? Great fun. 
> 
> Also I'm probably going to update on mondays from now on, since sunday seems to be our designated 'having guests over' day. 
> 
> Oh and the song ofc is 'livin on a prayer' by Bon Jovi


	9. Stall for me!

**Chat Noir:** Good morning my lady!

 **Chat Noir:** I hope you slept well, especially after our wild night >:3

 **Chat Noir:** But ehm, I hope you're not still sleeping because there sure is an Akuma on the loose

  


**Chat Noir:** I really, really hope you're not still sleeping

 **Chat Noir:** That'd be bad

 **Chat Noir:** M'Lady?

[Ladybug has entered Shared Chatroom]

**Ladybug** I'm here, just give me a minute!

 **Ladybug:** Don't worry, I left the party earlier this morning

 **Ladybug:** Like the good responsible person I am

 **Chat Noir:** Haha yeah, you say that but I saw the way you were swaying on your feet yesterday >:)

 **Ladybug:** ...

 **Ladybug:** Not my proudest moment

 **Ladybug:** It won't happen again

 **Ladybug:** We will not speak of this

 **Chat Noir:** Haha, all right, all right

 **Chat Noir:** Honesty though, how'd you do that?

 **Ladybug:** ...

 **Ladybug:** I was actually at another party before I came to that one

 **Ladybug:** I got challenged to a drinking game

 **Chat Noir:** And you have a mile-wide competitive streak, yeah I know XD

 **Ladybug:** Shush

 **Ladybug:** I wasn't expecting to have to do hero work

 **Ladybug:** Which, looking back on it, bad move

 **Ladybug:** Anyway I feel fine? All those stories of people being really nauseous after drinking alcohol must be exaggerated

 **Ladybug:** I have some things here I have to clean up though, I'll be there in a bit

 **Chat Noir:** Sure, I'll go in and collect some intel

 **Chat Noir:** It's at the hotel btw

 **Chat Noir:** Member of the staff I think

 **Ladybug:** Okay just gimme a lil bit more time...

 **Chat Noir:** You got it

 **Chat Noir:** Oh no! The 'Server of Doom' wishes to 'Serve Us Our Doom' im so scared

 **Chat Noir:** Sometimes I'm having so much trouble remembering that all of Paris is in danger

 **Chat Noir:** I mean, look at this mess

[Ladybug has left Shared Chatroom]

**Chat Noir** Who would take this serious?

 **Chat Noir:** Ladybug??

 **Chat Noir:** Oh no

 **Chat Noir:** Ladybug are you okay?

[Ladybug has entered Shared Chatroom]

**Ladybug** CHAT

 **Ladybug:** STALL FOR ME

[Ladybug has left Shared Chatroom]

**Chat Noir** UUhm

 **Chat Noir:** Okay

 **Chat Noir:** I'll do my best

  


**Chat Noir:** [SelfieWAkuma.jpg]

  


**Chat Noir:** [Selfie2.jpg]

 **Chat Noir:** Hey Ladybug if there was a way for me to purify or catch Akumas, you'd tell me, right?

 **Chat Noir:** Oh nevermind, you'd have told me already

  


**Chat Noir:** [ChatAndLadybloggerSelfie.jpg]

  


[Ladybug has entered Shared Chatroom]

**Ladybug** All right Chat, where are you at??

 **Ladybug:** Still at the hotel? I'm coming!

 **Ladybug:** I have like 20 minutes to fix this let's do it!

 **Chat Noir:** What? 

**Chat Noir:** Okay

 **Chat Noir:** See you soon!

  


* * *

  


**Chat Noir:** So M'Lady, mind elaborating on what just happened?

 **Chat Noir:** Not that I'm not happy we managed to take down an Akuma in such record time, I'm sure the news will have a lot to say about us tonight.

 **Chat Noir:** But what happened?

 **Ladybug:** Ugh 

**Ladybug:** I'm so sorry Chat, this was so stupid

 **Ladybug:** I had this...

 **Ladybug:** Wait let me think of a way to say it without giving too much away

 **Chat Noir:** Okay take your time

 **Ladybug:** I did an art thing with some friends

 **Ladybug:** At my house 

**Ladybug:** And we made a bit of a mess

 **Chat Noir:** Like a sleepover!? 

**Ladybug:** No no, we just 

**Ladybug:** Did a collaborative art project

 **Ladybug:** For 

**Ladybug:** A thing

 **Chat Noir:** Like an art competition?!

 **Chat Noir:** That's so cool!

 **Ladybug:** Yes 

**Ladybug:** Let's say it was that

 **Ladybug:** An art competition

 **Ladybug:** And we were idiots and did our art thing right before the competition started and then we had to move the art to another location 

**Chat Noir:** May I ask, my Lady, which medium of the fine arts do you prefer?

 **Ladybug:** Ehm

 **Ladybug:** I would say but it'd give things away

 **Chat Noir:** Aw :(

 **Ladybug:** Anyway, I told my parents I'd clean it up after I got back home

 **Ladybug:** Which was today 

**Ladybug:** For reasons I will not elaborate on 

**Chat Noir:** Wow, that must have been a really long art competition

 **Chat Noir:** So you had to clean your house first?

 **Ladybug:** They were very adamant about it 

**Ladybug:** I think they're starting to get annoyed with me bailing on them all the time :(

 **Ladybug:** SO I panicked, cleaned a lot, then shoved a lot of things just in a closet because I knew you were waiting for me

 **Ladybug:** But then I ran out and my dad asked me where I was going in such a hurry and if everything was clean

 **Ladybug:** And then 

**Ladybug:** Ugh 

**Ladybug:** I kind of don't want to tell you

 **Ladybug:** It's so embarrassing

 **Chat Noir:** Ooooh c'mon M'Lady, pleaaaaase!

 **Ladybug:** Okay okay

 **Ladybug:** So I said 

**Ladybug:** I said I had to go to the library to read a book 

**Ladybug:** But I said it in a panicky way so they asked what book 

**Ladybug:** So I told them I needed to read a book about sailing because my friend had gotten herself stuck on an island and she didn't know how to sail

 **Chat Noir:** Hahaha no way!

 **Ladybug:** It didn't make any sense! But I guess I looked freaked out enough that my parents just let me go

 **Ladybug:** I am so ashamed 

**Chat Noir:** :D 

**Chat Noir:** You had good timing though, I had no other obligations today so it wasn't actually a problem to stalk the Akuma for a bit

 **Chat Noir:** I even got to hang out with the Ladyblogger

 **Chat Noir:** She's pretty cool

 **Ladybug:** Did she ask why I wasn't there? What did you tell her?

 **Chat Noir:** I told her you were held up and that I didn't know the details.

 **Chat Noir:** But that you were coming

 **Chat Noir:** I'll make sure to tell her you were reading up on sailing next time

 **Ladybug:** DONT 

**Chat Noir:** >:3

 **Ladybug:** Seriously though, this is becoming a problem... I am not a good liar. My parents are going to find out at this rate. 

**Ladybug:** What would you do, Chat? What kind of excuses do you use to get away from your parents?

 **Chat Noir:** Well...

 **Chat Noir:** It's just the one parent, in my case

 **Ladybug:** ...oh

 **Ladybug:** I'm so sorry Chat, I had no idea

 **Chat Noir:** It's okay

 **Chat Noir:** I don't want to go into details, but it's not very hard for me to sneak out generally. There's certain moments in my schedule where it would be impossible, but so far I've been lucky

 **Ladybug:** That's...

 **Ladybug:** Well, good for hero work at least 

**Ladybug:** Hey Chat 

**Ladybug:** I spoke to Marinette yesterday at the party 

**Ladybug:** The girl they put in the guest room because she drank too much 

**Chat Noir:** Yeah?

 **Ladybug:** She said that you said that you'd never been to a party before

 **Ladybug:** Is that true?

 **Chat Noir:** I mean there was the one party 

**Chat Noir:** But it wasn't a very good one

 **Ladybug:** ...

 **Ladybug:** Hey Chat 

**Ladybug:** I know I'm not in the best position to help you with civilian stuff, because of our identities and such, but you know you can always come to me for help, right?

 **Ladybug:** Just call me, even if there isn't an Akuma and you just want to get out

 **Ladybug:** I'm down for surprise patrols, anytime

 **Ladybug:** I'll even lie about sailing again, if I have too

 **Chat Noir:** Thank you, Ladybug 

**Chat Noir:** You're already doing a lot, but this, this means a lot to me :)

 **Chat Noir:** And well...

 **Chat Noir:** I know you don't want to share your identity, which I understand, you're very important to Paris, more so than me. But if you wanted to know mine, that'd be okay

 **Chat Noir:** I don't even need to know yours

 **Chat Noir:** But that way, I don't know, maybe you could come visit when I can't get away?

 **Ladybug:** Chat

 **Ladybug:** You do understand why I keep my identity secret, right?

 **Chat Noir:** I mean, I guessed you just don't want to be treated differently as a civilian? But that's more about keeping it secret from Paris, not necessarily from me

 **Ladybug:** Chat, I know that the way things are now, I am the only one who can reverse the damage the Akumas do which means, from a purely strategical standpoint, that it makes sense for you to take hits for me

 **Ladybug:** I hate this, let me just make that clear. I hate seeing you in pain or mind controlled because I wasn't strong or fast enough

 **Ladybug:** But I can't deny that that's the best strategy for us. Like how you'd sacrifice your queen to keep your king safe in a game of chess.

 **Ladybug:** I hate it a lot but with the way our powers work, that's how it will have to be

 **Ladybug:** But Chat 

**Ladybug:** It's been months and we're no closer to finding Hawkmoth

 **Ladybug:** We may not get closer to finding him until he slips up 

**Ladybug:** We might be at this for a long time 

**Chat Noir:** So? What are you saying Ladybug? 

**Ladybug:** I asked Tikki a while back if our Miraculous make us immune to Akumas

 **Ladybug:** They don't

 **Chat Noir:** They don't?!

 **Ladybug:** No 

**Ladybug:** We're as much at risk as anyone in Paris, Chat

 **Ladybug:** I hope it never happens, but I might be Akumatized at some point in the future 

**Ladybug:** And at that point, it'll be up to you to save the day

 **Ladybug:** And I'm so very, very happy you'll be there then, to save the day

 **Ladybug:** I think knowing you'd be there to help me is already keeping me much, much calmer, and safer from Akumas

 **Ladybug:** I'd love to know who you are Chat, and I promise, once we beat Hawkmoth, you'll be the first one I'll reveal my identity to

 **Ladybug:** But until then, I can't risk knowing who you are. Hawkmoth's powers are mind control. If I got Akumatized and knew where you lived...

 **Ladybug:** Well

 **Ladybug:** I'd rather not think about that, to be honest

 **Chat Noir:** Wow

 **Chat Noir:** I never even considered that 

**Chat Noir:** That that could happen 

**Ladybug:** Yeah 

**Chat Noir:** What if I got Akumatized?

 **Ladybug:** I'd do my very, very best to save you, Chat. Promise.

 **Ladybug:** Even though 

**Ladybug:** Well 

**Ladybug:** Having me Akumatized is bad, because I wouldn't be there to purify the Akuma or reverse the damage

 **Ladybug:** But I'm not sure if we'd swap out our powerset for an Akuma's or that we'd keep ours too

 **Ladybug:** And your power 

**Ladybug:** well..

 **Chat Noir:** Oh! 

**Chat Noir:** Yeah, that'd be bad

 **Ladybug:** Yeah 

**Ladybug:** So instead, let's avoid that at all costs!

 **Ladybug:** I mean it Chat! I've you're ever sad or lonely, just call me up and we can patrol

 **Ladybug:** I'll even play hide and seek with you again

 **Chat Noir:** You will?!

 **Ladybug:** Now, don't push it

 **Ladybug:** But yeah 

**Ladybug:** We have to keep each other save, Chat 

**Chat Noir:** Of course, my Lady 

**Chat Noir:** I'll keep that in mind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Adrien sure will remember this conversation >:D 
> 
> Anyways, ther we go! One chapter to quickly check up on our heroes, and then we're off to another mini-arc with the civillians. I hope you all like dnd :D


	10. Dungeons and Detention, part 1

{Private Message from: Adrien} 

**Adrien**  
Bad news, Nino.  
I can’t come to gamenight tomorrow, unfortunately.  
I have to attend a gala for the brand.  


**Nino**  
Dude!  
We’ve been planning this for weeks man! Not cool!  


**Adrien**  
I’m sorry.  


**Nino**  
No, bro, don’t apologise. I know you’ve been looking forwards to it. Let me guess, your old man sprung this on you without warning?  


**Adrien**  
Yeah...  


**Nino**  
That is totally not cool. I had so many games I wanted you to try, dude!  


**Adrien**  
He can’t always take my schedule into account. It’s not like we can move big events like this around.  
I’m sure he did what he could.  


**Nino**  
So tell me, is your dad himself attending?  


**Adrien**  
...No  
I’m going with Nathalie.  
I assume she’ll bring his tablet.  


**Nino**  
-_-  
God forbid you do the talking, right?  


**Adrien**  
To be fair, I’m not great at that.  


**Nino**  
So why send you?  
You know what, nevermind  
Don’t answer that  
Don’t worry dude, I swear, next week we’ll have our game night. And we’re going to play all of the multiplayer games you’ve missed out on and it’s going to be rad.  
And I know exactly the person to help me set it up.  
Don’t even worry about this, I got it!  


**Adrien**  
Thanks Nino, you’re the best!  


* * *

{Private Message from: Nino} 

**Nino**  
hey Mari  


**Marinette**  
Yeh  


**Nino**  
I need your help  
By which I mean  
I need you to think of one of your Convoluted PlansTM  
To manage the impossible  


**Marinette**  
Hmnmn  
I must say, I am intrigued  
Which impossible tasks will that be?  


**Nino**  
I need Adrien to get detention  


**Marinette**  
Impossible  


**Nino**  
I know, which is why I need your help  


**Marinette**  
Nino, you’re asking a lot. Adrien is like, the sweetest kindest person alive who absolutely would never hurt a fly or even say a bad word. Which deranged monster of a teacher would ever give him detention?  
Also, why do you want him to get detention?  


**Nino**  
I’ve been trying to get him to have a game night with me but his dad keeps derailing it  
So I figured. If we both have detention, his dad has no choice but to let him be in a room with me for an extended period of time, right?  
So we can just have the game night there!  
And I know you’re going to ask so, yes, you can absolutely come and have detention with us. As long as you promise to play whichever game we pick. No beating us into the dirt in mecha strike for hours on end like last time  


**Marinette**  
DEAL  
Can Alya come?  


**Nino**  
Of course  


**Marinette**  
NICE  
I already have a great idea. You just wait, we’re going to have so much detention after this >:)  


* * *

{Private Message from: Nino} 

**Nino**  
Hey Alya just a heads up. I know you don’t have a lot of free time with your blog and babysitting but Adrien is a sad bean that is not getting enough human interaction and I may or may not have set Mari on the case. She’s going to make sure we all get detention. That way we can have a gamenight/afternoon in the detention classroom. Now I’m going to go offline before you chew me out for this terrible(fantastic) idea. Goodnight!  


**Alya**  
WHAT  
NINO  
GET BACK HERE  


* * *

{Private Message from: Alya <3} 

**Alya <3 **  
MARINETTE I RUN A BLOG AND HAVE TWO YOUNGER SIBLINGS DONT DO THIS TO ME!  


**Marinette**  
We’re doing this for Adrien  
Also, Nino finally got his own version of death of winter.  
That great game we played with Juleka on her boat, remember?  


**Alya <3 **  
Please tell me you’re not actually, seriously considering this...  


**Marinette**  
So the plan is we’re going to prank Chloe so bad she’ll force her dad to send us to detention (and I don’t think Damocles ever puts Chloe’s temper tantrums on record, so that’s a bonus). What I’ll need is aluminium foil, two ping pong balls, matches, roughly four meters of string, a pepper grinder and a hat, preferably a really ugly one.  


**Alya <3 **  
-_-  
Where did you learn to be so persuasive, girl?! Tell me your secrets!  


**Marinette**  
^^  


**Alya <3 **  
Fine I’ll bring the hat and matches  
YOU’LL OWE ME AFTER THIS!  


* * *

{Private Message from: Alya} 

**Alya**  
Okay, you can come back now, I won’t skin you alive anymore  


**Nino**  
Oh phew  


**Alya**  
Hey, do you think Mari would be able to actually say a whole sentence to Adrien if she was in character?  


**Nino**  
What do you mean, in character? Like not her?  


**Alya**  
Yeah  


**Nino**  
Like the superheroes?  


**Alya**  
I was thinking Dnd  


**Nino**  
...  
You know what, that is a great idea  


**Alya**  
Two birds, one stone  


**Nino**  
BAM  


**Alya**  
*High five*  


**Nino**  
*High five*  


* * *

{ClassChat}

 **Bitch**  
WHO DID THIS!  


**Alya**  
B)  


**Bitch**  
MY HAIR AND CLOTHES ARE RUINED  


**Nino**  
B)  


**Marinette**  
B)  


**Bitch**  
You three will pay for this  


**Adrien**  
B)  


**Bitch**  
What?!  


**Rose (pink n prep)**  
Oh wow, what a plottwist!  


**Kim?**  
No way!  


**Max (tech guy)**  
This is very unusual behaviour for you, Adrien  


**Adrien**  
Guess I’m just more multifaceted than any of you suspected!  
guess I can be a real ‘bad boy’  
Look at me, doing a mischief!  


**Alix (pink n punk)**  
What did you do exactly?  


**Adrien**  
I brought the pepper grinder!  


**Marinette**  
A true hero  


**Bitch**  
ADRIEN AGRESTE YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS  


**Adrien**  
I changed my mind this was a bad idea  


**Nino**  
Run bro  


* * *

{Nino created: Detention squad}

{Nino added Marinette, Adrien & Alya} 

**Alya**  
I can’t believe we did it  
Well, Mari did it technically, but still  


**Marinette**  
You all helped  


**Nino**  
Where are you bro? We’re already in the detention classroom  
Mister Brondique is already asleep  


**Marinette**  
I spiked his drink  


**Nino**  
WHAT?!  


**Alya**  
Omg no chill  


**Marinette**  
I changed the coffee in the machine down the hall to decaf and then stole his thermos and filled it with camomile tea  
He’s like, seventy years old some rest will be good for him  


**Alya**  
Oof, he’ll be out for hours  


**Nino**  
Coast is clear dude! @Adrien where are you at?  


**Adrien**  
Bad news guys :(  


**Nino**  
What?  


**Adrien**  
I’m at home.  
I was going to have a week of detention like all of you, but I guess the principal must have called my father.  
And he must have told him that detention wouldn’t really be a punishment for me.  
So instead I got a week of homeschooling.  


**Alya**  
Are you shitting me rn?!?!  


**Marinette**  
Oh no :(  


**Nino**  
What!?!?!  
That is not okay!  
That is really really not okay!!  


**Adrien**  
I know. But there’s not much I can do.  
Thanks a lot for trying anyways, guys. You all are amazing friends. And at least you all will still be able to play games during your detention.  


**Nino**  
No, no way  
We’re all playing, one way or another  
I actually planned for this scenario  


**Adrien**  
You did?  


**Nino**  
Yes  
your dad is an asshole, of course I did  
[dnd5e_PlayersHandbook.pdf]  
We have a whole week, so we’ll prep today and start tomorrow. I’ll be helping Alya and Mari first, bud. Meanwhile, could you read the intro of this book? Assuming you haven’t done roleplaying games before.  


**Adrien**  
Ooooh, is this dungeons and dragons?! I’ve heard of that game!  
Yes I’ll read it!  


**Nino**  
Sweet! Today we make characters, tomorrow, we play.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're finally here! The dnd mini-arc! 
> 
> Which classes do you think our heroes are going to play? Place your bets! 
> 
> (Btw, I will make sure these chapters will be understandable for people who do not play dnd, so no worries :) Also, if you part of that group, I'd highly recommend giving it a try at some point. Cooperative storytelling is great fun and probably my favourite hobby, even over gardening.)


	11. Dungeons and Detention, part 2

{Starting Videocall with: Detention Squad}

 **Nino**  
All right, Adrien, can you hear us?  


**Adrien**  
Loud and clear!  


**Nino**  
Fantastic  
I hope you’re all ready  


**Marinette**  
I’m so excited!  


**Adrien**  
Not gonna lie, I’m a little nervous  


**Nino**  
Perfectly normal, don’t worry dudes, you’ll do great!  
Who wants to introduce their character first?  


**Alya**  
I’ll go, since I think I’m the only one besides you who’s played before.  


**Marinette**  
True  


**Alya**  
So, my character is a human bard, her name is Bonnie Bardouwe  


**Nino**  
Sweet name!  


**Alya**  
Thanks!  
So, Bonnie has a humble background. She’s a farmer’s daughter, got six siblings, grew up on the countryside, stuff like that.  
But she has like, crazy much talent for music. Someone from the big city discovered her and invited her to go to like, the magic academy, the bard school, whatever.  


**Nino**  
We’ll think of a cool fantasy name for the local bard school.  


**Alya**  
Works for me!  
So, she went there, did really well. Like she was rocking at it.  
But it turns out the school was super corrupt. And the students had to pay like, a lot to be able to go there.  
So she dropped out in her final year because she didn’t have the funds anymore.  
She never got her bard’s diploma, so she’s not allowed to play professionally in taverns, so instead she became an adventurer and does dungeon crawls and roams the land so she can pay off her ridiculously high student debt.  


**Nino**  
Holy shit  


**Marinette**  
I can’t believe this. I went and wrote like, a whole tragic backstory with intrigue and epicness and stuff and you come with this?!  
You adventure because of student debt?!?  
How can I ever top this!?!?!  


**Alya**  
Told ya, I’ve done this before.  
Epic backstories are good and fine though. It's just that when you know the clichés you can find fun ways to break them.  


**Adrien**  
You’re super creative Mari, I’m sure whatever you came up with will be great!  


**Marinette**  
If... if you say so!  
Shall I go next?  


**Nino**  
Go for it dude!  


**Marinette**  
So, my backstory isn’t as unique, and I can’t tell all of it because spoilers.  


**Nino**  
Just tell them the basics.  


**Marinette**  
Okay  
So, I never played before either and apparently it’s good to have a handhold.  
So, I’ve based my character on my favourite superhero.  


**Adrien**  
Ooh nice!  


**Alya**  
Is it really going to happen?! Am I going to fight side by side with Ladybug?!?  


**Marinette**  
Ehm, almost.  
So, I’m playing a rogue.  


**Nino**  
After seeing you prank Chloe and then spike our teachers drink, I’m not surprised.  


**Marinette**  
I can’t tell much about my backstory, but she comes from a royal-ish family, that raised her very strictly up to the point where she ran away from home.  
Some shit went down and she ended up joining a band of rogues that taught her the art of breaking and entering.  
So I kind of became a cat burglar  
Until shit went down with the group of rogues too and I had to flee.  
And now I’m on the run.  


**Nino**  
Nice! Good job Marinette.  


**Adrien**  
It’s really cool! I don’t see how this is based on the superheroes though?  


**Marinette**  
Oh well, I am a panther tabaxi, and my name is Caitlyn Black.  


**Alya**  
NICE!  


**Adrien**  
What’s a tabaxi?  


**Nino**  
It’s like...  
Like a panther furry  


**Adrien**  
Furry?  


**Nino**  
Don’t google that, I’ll send you a picture  


**Adrien**  
All right  
In the meantime, shall I introduce my character?  


**Alya**  
Go!  


**Adrien**  
So, this is also my first time playing, and Nino told me to kind of, play close to myself?  
So I’m playing a paladin named Petra Hardrock  
I... I guess my backstory is a bit like Mari’s. I was raised kind of strictly too, and was told to ‘punish evildoers’ and ‘right the wrongs’ but was never really told what that looked like in the real world.  
So at some point I left my hometown to actually seek out this ‘great evil’ everyone was going on about.  
And maybe make some new friends along the way!  
I don’t know if I had to do like, a tragic backstory? I don’t really have one? I’m just kind of, a nice person. Out adventuring.  


**Marinette**  
He sounds so nice!  
And very much like you.  


**Adrien**  
Thanks! I tried!  
So I’m lawful good, and I have a strong sense of justice, I suppose, but again I know I have to ‘do good’ but am a bit vague on the details on that.  
Oh, and my character is female, I should say.  


**Marinette**  
Oh?  


**Alya**  
Sweet, we’re an all women adventuring party then! That’s a bold choice for a first time player, Adrien.  


**Adrien**  
Thanks! I kept it close to myself but was also a little bit inspired by my favourite superhero.  
Oh and I’m a hill dwarf.  


**Alya**  
You’re playing a female hill dwarf paladin?  


**Adrien**  
Yup! And, at least according to the internet, paladins are generally really dumb? I asked Nino about what the stats mean and he insisted I’d do something else.  
So I have 14 intelligence and a wisdom of 8.  
I don’t really know the difference, but Nino said that’d be a easier for me to play?  


**Nino**  
Yup. Trust your DM.  


**Alya**  
That. Is. Fantastic.  


**Adrien**  
Oh, and I have a very large two-handed battleaxe called ‘Heavy Metal’.  


**Marinette**  
Oh no... this is just going to be one long string of rock and metal puns, isn’t it?  


**Alya**  
You’re one to talk ‘Caitlyn Black’ the cat burglar!  


**Marinette**  
-_-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your comments on the last chapter! A few of you actually guessed some things correctly, but most people did try to guess what classes/races our main characters would have been had this fic been a fantasy AU (Which by the way, was a lot of fun to read and is definitely going into the 'possible future works' binder).
> 
> I hope no one's dissapointed XD But I liked the idea too much of Marinette and Adrien trying to play as basically each others' hero persona while Alya rolls seduction checks in the background.
> 
> Also I hc that Adrien is too careful to make cat-puns when he's not Chat Noir but compensated by finding other obnoxious subjects to pun about. Let's see how many Stone puns I can come up with before next week X'D


	12. Dungeons and Detention, part 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please enjoy this extra long chapter to make up for the sudden hiatus! Explanation below.  
> Also, once again, if you don't like dnd, any plot relevant things that happen in these chapters I will mention in the notes if they come up. 
> 
> Enjoy!

**Nino**  
All right, you three are inhabitants of the faraway land of Arcfen. A place of magic, wonders, and inescapable danger! Ranging from the mountain range down south, the jungles in the east and the gentle sloping hills of the west-coast respectively.

 **Marinette**  
HYPE

 **Alya**  
Hype hype!!

 **Nino**  
This land is all you three have ever known, and it holds all that you hold dear. However, it is also full of danger. Powerful mages live in the cities, competing for power and hoarding eldritch knowledge. Wild tribes and nomads roam the land, along with roving bands of beasts and monsters. Strange creatures lurk deep within the woods and on occasion the land goes dark beneath the shadow of dragon wings.

 **Adrien**  
Wow!

 **Nino**  
Also, there's dungeons. Ancient subterranean labyrinths filled with traps and curses, carved into the landscape by corrupted wizards, driven mad with power. Filled with death and danger, but also immense treasure.

 **Alya**  
*whispers* Guys we're going to dungeon crawl!!

 **Adrien**  
Is that good?

 **Nino**  
No actually! You dudes are currently very far away from these dreaded dungeons. About as far from them as you could possibly be.

 **Alya**  
Huh?

 **Nino**  
You dudes  
Are here  
[Skyship.jpg]

**Alya**  
Oh wow that is amazing!!

 **Adrien**  
It's a flying ship?! We're on a flying ship!!!  
is this what you meant when you said it'd be 'more steampunk-y than lord of the rings'?

 **Nino**  
Yes! This world is fantasy, but not medieval fantasy. It's just that magic replaces a lot of the technology we have. Ships like these have elementals bound to them, that generate enough lift that they can float up. But there's no rocket engines, so it still has sails to make it go forwards and steer.  
Picture credits go to Marinette by the way

 **Marinette**  
I had to keep it a secret for FOUR WHOLE DAYS

 **Alya**  
And we appreciate your restraint, girl!

 **Nino**  
So to give you a little background. You all were on the road, travelling to various destinations and for various reasons, when you all ran into this wizardly looking fellow, a man named Aurelius.  
He seemed cordial enough, if a bit haughty and self-centered. Also very dramatic. He always wears like, full wizard getup, complete with hat.

 **Marinette**  
Oh oof

 **Alya**  
I already hate him

 **Nino**  
And he mentioned that he needed some people with expertise to help him on a big job in a town a ways away. And that he was making rounds through the country to pick people up.  
You dudes, with no plans nor money, agreed to go with him to work on this 'big job'.  
So you've been cruising through the skies for the past few... time. It's been fun, although you three do have to work on the ship, as payment, kind of.  
You've all already introduced yourselves to the others on the boat. So no awkward character introductions are required.

 **Marinette**  
Oh phew...

 **Nino**  
But you didn't have, a lot of time to talk of course  
You've been very busy, with not a lot of time to socialize. Mostly you all have just been very focussed on keeping the ship flying and in working order. Performing your various tasks seamlessly, your mind only on the now, and this 'big tasks' ahead of you.  
In fact, your minds have been, maybe suspiciously blank...  
Everyone, please roll a wisdom save.

 **Marinette**  
Ooooh

 **Alya**  
The plot thickens.  
Huh, that’s a 2. Good start.

 **Adrien**  
I have 4, plusss... no actually minus 1. So 3.

 **Marinette**  
I rolled an 18!  
What do I add?!

 **Alya**  
Look on the top of your sheet, under saves

 **Marinette**  
Ooh, plus 2 so that's a 20!

 **Nino**  
Awesome dude, so Petra and Bonnie, you two are pretty content, working here on the ship. Doing odd jobs while you wait to arrive at your destination.  
Caitlyn, while you are generally fine here, there is a nagging in the back of your mind.  
You try to remember what exact job this wizard dude recruited you for, but you can’t actually remember.  
You're pretty sure he promised riches, but you don't think he ever gave you specifics, or even told you the location this 'big job' would be at.

 **Marinette**  
Huh, all right  
So I don’t actually know where we’re going?

 **Nino**  
Nope, but you’re not like, alarmed enough to break out of your routine

 **Marinette**  
Okay

 **Alya**  
That’s not worrying at all

 **Nino**  
Our adventure starts on a beautiful, cloudy morning. Well, cloudy for those poor sobs below cause you dudes are far above the clouds, sailing away. The sun is shining brightly, having risen a while ago it is now high enough in the sky that you guys can see it.  
Now to see what all of you are doing on this beautiful morning, I’d like an intelligence check from everyone.

 **Alya**  
15 heckyeah

 **Marinette**  
A 9 for me

 **Adrien**  
17!

 **Nino**  
Okay, Adrien's roll was the highest  
So Petra, you were deemed by your employer as the most reliable to steer this ship. So you’re in the captain’s cabin, behind the wheel.

 **Adrien**  
Awesome!  
How would my character know how to fly a ship, though?

 **Nino**  
Aurelius gave you a quick rundown of the controls. Turns out it’s primarily the takeoffs and landings that are tricky, once you’re in the air it’s very easy. It’s just a simple steering wheel plus some levers for altitude you have to deal with. All the more complex machinery for the exact positioning of the sails etcetera you just don’t bother with.

 **Adrien**  
All right!

 **Nino**  
So, Petra, you are above deck, steering. The other two are below decks, performing various tasks and chores, we’ll get to you two later.  
Petra, on this beautiful morning, you see your employer, Aurelius, climb above deck. He doesn’t pay you much mind, you’re in the cabin, and you’re seeing him through the glass.  
He probably just woke up, and he just moves to the railing and looks out over the clouds.  
All zenned out

 **Adrien**  
I wave and yell hi at him

 **Nino**  
You do that, but he doesn’t seem to hear you. Maybe he’s just ignoring you, he does that.  
As you’re waving, with one hand still on the steering wheel, I assume, you see a small grey dot appear from the clouds below.  
As you look, it comes closer, and you see a small, grey pigeon make its way up to your skyship and land on the railing near Aurelius. A small letter bound to one if it’s legs.

 **Adrien**  
Oh, I try not to look because it’s rude to watch people open their mail

 **Alya**  
Oh god, here we go with the lawful goodness

 **Nino**  
You avert your eyes. Somewhat. I assume you’re still looking through the window. You see from the corner of your eye Aurelius retrieve the scroll from the bird’s leg and read it.  
And for a moment you see a flash of red light, seemingly coming from the paper  
And then the letter violently explodes

 **Adrien**  
Huh

 **Nino**  
*Slams hands on table* BOOM

 **Alya**  
Oooooooooh

 **Nino**  
Petra make a reflex save

 **Adrien**  
Oh no  
16

 **Nino**  
Oh wow you are on a roll  
Petra, in a split second you have the presence of mind to duck behind the steering wheel. Just in time too! You hear the window shatter before the shockwave from the explosion reaches your ears. Pain explodes in your skull as glass and shattered wood flies around you, fortunately impacting the wheel instead of your body. You feel the ship buckle beneath you! And then everything just stops. And you’re crouched on the ground, your ears ringing.

 **Adrien**  
Oh wow  
I’d like to get up and, look around I guess? What happened? Can I tell what happened?

 **Nino**  
So, you stand up, careful of the broken glass, and look out over the deck. It is wrecked.  
You can clearly see where Aurelius stood, because a part of the wood is just blown away, there’s a giant hole in the deck of your ship now, and a big chuck of the railing is missing.  
There’s debris scattered all over, and a few wooden planks are smoldering with fire.  
Your employer and captain, Aurelius, is nowhere to be found.  
And as for what happened. Go ahead and roll an Arcana check.

 **Adrien**  
11 plus 4 is 15

 **Nino**  
Okay, you know there’s a few spells, very high level ones, that can be inscribed as runes on a flat surface and detonate the moment someone looks at them. You’re guessing something like that was on the letter and Aurelius triggered it.

 **Adrien**  
So like a magical terrorist attack?

 **Marinette**  
Ah, magical terrorism, just like home

 **Nino**  
It seems like it!  
And as you’re pondering the implications of magical terrorism, you feel the ship shudder around you once more, and for a brief moment you feel your feet leave the ground, like you’ve become weightless, before you plop back down.  
Having steered this ship for a bit, you know what this means.  
You’re losing altitude

 **Adrien**  
Ooooh that’s not good

 **Nino**  
Petra, what do you do?

 **Adrien**  
Ehm, I guess I’ll… start with the problems I do know how to solve? I run out to the deck and start stomping out the small fires.

 **Nino**  
All right, you do that.  
Then, Caitlyn and Bonnie, you two were both doing various small tasks on the ship. Let’s say that you were in the kitchen Bonnie, preparing some food. And Caitlyn you were cleaning the crew’s quarters. You both also heard this massive explosion, and felt the ship shudder and sink beneath you.  
So you two run up to the deck, and you as well see the wreckage. The rubble caused by what was seemingly an explosion. The broken windows, the hole in the deck, and the dwarf stomping frantically at the last few fires.

 **Alya**  
“Shit! Who left the stove on?!”

 **Marinette**  
Pfff

 **Adrien**  
Do I, do I roll to put out the fire or?

 **Nino**  
No need, it’s just stomping your foot, and it’s not a lot.

 **Marinette**  
“What happened?”

 **Adrien**  
“Well um, it’s… Let’s just say Aurelius got a letter and it was bad news?”  
“Whatever that message was, it sure made an impact.”  
So did Aurelius just disappear?

 **Nino**  
You look around and, ah. Well a very large part of the railing has been blown off. You think that with the way he was standing when he opened the letter, he was probably blown off with it.

 **Adrien**  
Oooh  
“We have a... a ‘man overboard’ scenario I’m afraid. But I don’t think throwing down a rope is going to cut it.”

 **Marinette**  
“Did Aurelius just die?”

 **Alya**  
“The first NPC we met, gonezo.”  
“We’re in hardmode guys.”

 **Nino**  
Did you say that in character?

 **Marinette**  
Caitlyn sends Bonnie a very, very confused look. Unsure of what an ‘NPC’ is.  
Anyway can I, like, you mentioned the ship dropped? Are we like, plummeting towards the ground or…?

 **Nino**  
Caitlyn give me a, let’s say an insight check.

 **Adrien**  
“Should we get down? Help Aurelius?”

 **Alya**  
“Eh, that’ll be hard probably. And besides, I didn’t even like him all that much.”  
“Our ship now, am I right?”

 **Marinette**  
Only a 12

 **Nino**  
Okay, well Caitlyn, you know you’re not like, dropping out of the sky instantly. It’s hard to judge your altitude this high up, so you have no idea about that. But you do see, all of you see in fact, that one of the sails of your ship, the one on the side the explosion was on, is no longer open but has folded back towards the flank of your ship and is like, limply trailing behind you.

 **Marinette**  
“Oof, that ain’t good.”

 **Adrien**  
“Okay let’s, ah, check the damage I suppose. I’m not sure if we can help Aurelius if he really fell of the ship, but I guess we can head on to where we were going?”  
Nino, where were you going again?

 **Nino**  
Everyone, roll me a Wisdom save.

 **Alya**  
5

 **Adrien**  
13 for me

 **Marinette**  
OOooh natural 20!!!

 **Alya**  
Heckyeah first 20!  
Good job Mari!

 **Marinette**  
I really only rolled a die but thanks!

 **Nino**  
That’s the game!  
Okay, Petra and Caitlyn, you didn’t notice it initially because you were distracted by the giant explosion. But you feel different. You feel as if a fog has lifted from your mind. You’re thinking clearer than before. This goes for you too by the way Bonnie, you just don’t consciously realise it. Petra, you realise that you super don’t remember what this trips destination was supposed to be. He never gave you details and that is deeply suspicious.  
Now Caitlyn, you realise this as well. You additionally recall you’ve made several stops in several places, neither of which were apparently your final destination. You think you’ve been on this ship for a good three weeks. You also distinctly remember being very distrustful towards Aurelius when you met him on the road initially, until he cast something and you suddenly understood what he was trying to get across after which you went with him without question.  
Caitlyn, you realise in this moment that you’ve been mind-controlled.

 **Marinette**  
Holy shit!  
“That dramatic-ass bastard mind controlled us!”

 **Adrien**  
“What?”  
“Why would someone do that?”

 **Alya**  
“Free labour? Maybe he was just a sadist? Don’t know don’t care, let’s make sure we don’t all die when this thing hits the ground and worry about the rest later. Sounds good?”

 **Marinette**  
“Sounds excellent.”  
“Let’s loot the place. Or ehm, I mean. Check the ship for damage!”

 **Alya**  
“Let’s go!”

* * *

**Nino**  
You open the door and finally arrive in the engine room

 **Alya**  
Whoo!

 **Nino**  
It looks like shit

 **Alya**  
Oh well

 **Nino**  
Having made your way to the very bottom of the ship, you open this metallic door, and the humming of the engine plus the strange whistling noise you’ve heard suddenly become a lot louder. The engine room, you can see now, isn’t very big in surface. It is very high, though, it seems to run all the way from the bottom of the ship to right below the deck.  
This rooms is chock full of machinery, you can barely see the walls. There’s pipes and gears and a bunch of what appears to me monitoring equipment, silently humming away. The most eye catching feature of this room is right in the middle. There’s a huge glass cylinder there, stretching all the way from the floor to the ceiling far above you, with within it a continuously swirling, miniature tornado.

 **Marinette**  
Woah

 **Nino**  
None of you are very well versed in the ins and outs of skyship mechanics, but you can all guess that this has to be the powercore of this ship, the bound air elemental that generates lift.

 **Adrien**  
So it’s still there? But you said we were losing altitude?

 **Nino**  
True. Petra, go ahead and roll another insight check.

 **Alya**  
Seems like you made a good choice playing a high INT paladin, Adrien

 **Adrien**  
Yeah right?! And I got a 19!

 **Nino**  
Great! All right, Petra, machinery might not be your forté, per sé, but you know enough from just, growing up in dwarven society.  
You notice all the way near the roof, the glass cylinder is cracked, right below where the explosion was. The odd whistling sound you’ve been hearing is air, escaping from inside. You’re not fully sure how or why, but you’re guessing this is why you’re losing altitude.  
You also notice some pieces of machinery along the walls, large metal beams attached to large hinges which are mirrored on the two sides of this room, which you guess are what connects the fin-like sails of this ship to the steering wheel somehow. One of the large beams seems to have been bend and broken by the explosion.

 **Adrien**  
Oh, oh oof  
Okay so we have to fix the beam and the cylinder before hitting the ground. Okay.

 **Alya**  
Do you tell us as well?

 **Adrien**  
Ah, yeah of course. “Okay, so we have some trouble up over there, and also over there.”  
And I point at the damaged parts  
“And well, I may be a dwarf, but I’d like to not hit rock bottom today. At least, not at great speed. So… we should do something, probably.”

 **Alya**  
“Hmn, well yalls, seems like we’re in quite the pickle.”

 **Marinette**  
Wait what?!  
Alya, why are you talking like that?!

 **Alya**  
“I’ve gone an’ picked a character voice. And there ain’t nothing yall can do ‘bout it.”

 **Adrien**  
Nice

 **Marinette**  
Oh god, am I the only one taking this seriously? Are we all going to die?

 **Alya**  
Lighten up Mari! It’s Dnd! You’re not supposed to take it seriously! And you’re definitely supposed to have funny voices.

 **Adrien**  
You weren’t talking like that at the start though.

 **Alya**  
“Whelp, I guess them magic mind control really messed up my accent.”

 **Adrien**  
If you’re a bard and you’re talking like a cowboy… that must mean you sing country songs, right?

 **Alya**  
“Why doncha pay me a gold and find out?”

 **Marinette**  
Can I roll to figure out how to fix the ship? Is that how it works?

 **Nino**  
Sure. You don’t have a background in building or engineering though, so just give me an intelligence check.

 **Marinette**  
Twelve total

 **Nino**  
Well, Caitlyn. You take a critical look at the broken machinery and cracked glass. You think that probably, you could fix the broken beam by spalking it somehow. It wouldn’t be as sturdy, but you’d at least be able to steer the ship again. The broken glass, you have no idea how to fix that, and you’re guessing that if it gets worse, you could literally fall out of the sky. Better not to touch it.

 **Marinette**  
“I think we should find a sturdy wooden beam and use it to fix our ships’... wing? I also think we should just not touch the cylinder at all. I don’t think there’s a way for us to safely fix the broken glass.”

 **Alya**  
“yeah, I recon there ain’t.”

 **Marinette**  
Or… Nino. Is there… is duct tape a thing in this fantasy world?

 **Adrien**  
Yeah, but it’s top tier loot.

 **Alya**  
Super rare, we’d have to dungeon crawl to find it.

 **Adrien**  
No duct tape on level one

 **Nino**  
If it exists, you sure don’t have it.

 **Marinette**  
Okay, in that case let’s just not touch the glass, at all.

 **Alya**  
Gotcha  
Let’s go find us a beam

* * *

**Nino**  
So you enter this new room, and immediately you notice how starkly different it is from the entire rest of the ship. Where elsewhere there’s just wooden walls and floors and spare furniture, this room is lavishly decorated with a soft carpet, wallpaper, and a beautiful queen sized bed.

 **Alya**  
Is this the wizard dude’s bedroom?

 **Nino**  
Judging by the overwhelming luxury, and also the big ass desk covered in scrolls, books, parchment and quills, you’re guessing yeah, it’s probably Aurelius’ room.

 **Marinette**  
“You know what.”  
“I know we’re probably not going to find a big, sturdy wooden beam in this room. But whatever.”  
“Let’s loot the place!”

 **Adrien**  
“Wait! I get that this guy is evil, but that doesn’t make just taking his stuff okay? Right?”

 **Marinette**  
“He magically mind controlled us and made us work on his ship for who knows how long”  
“Let’s just consider it our… delayed pay?”  
“Besides, he fell of the ship. He’s probably super dead.”

 **Adrien**  
“Yeah, I guess that’s true.”

 **Alya**  
Bonnie opens her mouth to tell the others about the Featherfall spell. How it super exists and how a wizard capable of mind controlling three people for such a long time could like, definitely cast it. And then she remembers Petra is Lawful Good and closes her mouth again.

 **Nino**  
Haha! Good call!

 **Marinette**  
Okay! Let’s loot! How do we loot!

 **Adrien**  
Roll for loot

 **Nino**  
Roll an investigation check, all of you. Oh and because you’re all checking the same room, please tell me the specific thing you’re looking for, or the area you’re checking.

 **Alya**  
I want to check out that desk!

 **Marinette**  
This dude seems old fashioned enough to keep his money in his matress, I want to check the bed.

 **Adrien**  
That leaves me the, uh, wardrobe?

 **Alya**  
If you want to, but who knows, there might be something cool in the closet.

 **Marinette**  
A skeleton

 **Adrien**  
Who knows, he may have been a necromancer. I’ll check out the closet!

 **Nino**  
Allright, go ahead and roll investigation everyone!

 **Marinette**  
12

 **Alya**  
OOoh natural twentyyyy!!!

 **Adrien**  
Only a 3 for me  
Do I find any skeletons?

 **Nino**  
Well, if there was a skeleton in the wardrobe, you would have probably found it anyway. As it is, you only find a plethora of fancy clothes. Mostly silks and linen with pretty dyes, very fine stuff. There’s one suit of leather armor that looks like it hasn't been worn in a decade all the way in the back. It’s all way way too big for your short, dwarven frame.

 **Adrien**  
Well, okay. I’ll grab that armor and see if one of my party members can wear it

 **Nino**  
You do that. So Alya, with your twenty, you search this dresser up and down. There’s a shaving kit and some makeup and jewelry, although it’s not much and all looks fairly plain and masculine. You search a little more, because you know dressers like this always have like, hidden compartments, and sure enough you find a small latch behind the mirror. You flick it and a previously hidden drawer springs open with an audible click.

 **Alya**  
Ooh, jackpot!

 **Marinette**  
Do you tell us you found that?

 **Alya**  
Oh, yes of course, I say it out loud.

 **Adrien**  
“Nice, good job!”

 **Nino**  
Bonnie, inside this drawer you find some more jewelry. An amulet, a brooch, and a bracelet. They all look finer, more well made than the other stuff, and the bracelet has visible runes engraved on it. You feel like these are definitely magical.

 **Alya**  
OOoh, do I know what they do?  
Do I have… nope I do not have the identify spell  
Oops

 **Nino**  
You can roll an arcana check

 **Alya**  
I’ll just nab it for now and worry about that later. Was that everything?

 **Nino**  
No actually. You find a beautiful, ornate quill and a small bottle of ink. A bunch of parchment, all very high quality, and you find two books. Scanning them briefly, one seems to contain a lot of diagrams, illustrations of magical effects, ritual circles and other such things. Clearly a spellbook. The other one is only part way filled, all the pages are marked with dates and a few pages have maps drawn on them. It appears to be a ledger of places this ship has been and other information about the cargo etcetera.

 **Alya**  
That is very interesting. I don’t want to look through that now since we are kind of falling out of the sky, so I’ll just shove all of it in the bag.  
Except the ink and paper of course.  
“Hey y’all, I found a bunch of neat stuff. Some magical do-that's and bunch of books.”

 **Adrien**  
“Oh cool, I just found this old set of armour. And some nice clothes. Nothing that fits me though.”  
“Did you find anything cool... Caitlyn?? It was Caitlyn right?”

 **Marinette**  
It is and I do not know  
Nino?

 **Nino**  
Yes, you had a twelve, right? So you check the bed, it’s a bed. It has soft pillows and a blanket and shit. And even with just a twelve, you sure find the coin purse this wizard dude has poorly hidden under his pillow. You look inside and find a large amount of coins, you’re guessing maybe 50 gold.

 **Marinette**  
Ooh nice  
“Nothing much here, but I did find this coin purse! It has 10 gold in it!”

 **Nino**  
It has 50, actually

 **Marinette**  
“It has 10 whole gold! Wow! I guess we’ll split that in three. I’ll keep the extra, since I found it.”  
I bound over and hand Bonnie and Petra both three gold.

 **Nino**  
Okay! Caitlyn go ahead and make a… deception check? I think that’s a deception check.

 **Marinette**  
Can I do a sleight of hand? I mean, I’m not technically lying, there is ten gold in the pouch. I’m just trying to hide that there’s also a lot more gold as well.

 **Nino**  
That’s fair, sleight of hand

 **Alya**  
Hey, no, no way!  
You sneaky little…

 **Marinette**  
14

 **Nino**  
Bonnie and Petra, roll perception checks to counter

 **Alya**  
16!

 **Adrien**  
Aww  
Natural 1

 **Nino**  
Haha! Okay Bonnie you super notice that the pouch seems to have much more than 10 gold in it. Petra you… well, you’re just so very pleased to be getting three gold. That nice cat lady just gave you three gold, she’s so nice!

 **Adrien**  
…  
“Oh wow, thank you so much Caitlyn, I really appreciate how you just shared this money you found randomly! You really didn’t have to! Here, this armor really won’t fit me, but you could probably wear it. Consider it a token of my gratitude!”

 **Alya**  
I give Caitlyn the biggest stink eye

 **Marinette**  
I grin and say “you’re welcome!” And put the armour on.

 **Nino**  
It’s heavy with dust and crippling guilt! But it does increase your armour class so there’s that.

 **Adrien**  
Hey Nino, Aurelius’ bed, is it a canopy bed?

 **Nino**  
You know it is. It’s super ostentatious. All hardwood and with poles and silk drapings dyed purple and embroidered. It looks expensive and horrible.

 **Adrien**  
I know we got here to find like, the key to the storage area, but could I take the poles on the side of the bed somehow?

 **Alya**  
Why?

 **Adrien**  
Well, we’re looking for like, wooden beams to fix the sail with, right?

 **Marinette**  
That's actually pretty smart. We could use the drapes to tie it to the broken beam in the engine room.

 **Adrien**  
Nino, could I take them?

 **Nino**  
Well, that’s… not what I expected you to do...  
So... they are attached to the bed

 **Adrien**  
Aw, all right  
Is there other places in this room were a key might be?

 **Alya**  
Psst Adrien  
Your character has an axe

 **Adrien**  
What?

 **Alya**  
You have a battleaxe  
A big one  
You named it even

 **Adrien**  
Yeah?

 **Alya**  
You know what axes are really good at?

 **Adrien**  
Fighting? They’re good for fighting?

 **Marinette**  
What are you getting at, Alya?

 **Alya**  
Axes are really great for detatching pieces of wood from other pieces of wood

 **Adrien**  
OOh!  
I get it!  
I didn’t realise… I guess you can do just whatever in dungeons and dragons!

 **Marinette**  
Yeah! We don’t need to find some dumb key to go to the next level!  
“Chop it to bits, Petra!”

 **Adrien**  
“Will do!”  
Nino, I’d like to attack the bed

 **Nino**  
Okay you know what, sure. Roll for it!

* * *

**Nino**  
So, after your dubious DIY adventures in the engine room, you arrive back on the deck. You notice right away, the clouds that previously were far below you have moved up and now obscure your vision, like a thick mist. You have lost altitude and are now going through the clouds.

 **Adrien**  
Petra looks up and sighs, “My family always said I should stop walking around with my head in the clouds, and look at me now.”

 **Adrien**  
Okay, I’d like to head to the steering wheel and very, very carefully try to make the broken sail move.

 **Nino**  
You turn the wheel the smallest little bit, and you see the sail shudder. It creaks, and then moves very slightly. You know, instinctively, that this construction won’t hold under stress. Any rough movements or sudden turns could snap the connection beam once again, but for now, your sail unfurls and you have finally broken out of your slow downward spiral, and are now merely gliding downwards in a straight line.

 **Adrien**  
“All right! It’s working but it is very fragile! We’re going to have to be really careful and maybe just don’t take turns, at all!”

 **Alya**  
“How’re we gonna land this ship then, if we can’t take turns?”

 **Adrien**  
“I have no idea!”

 **Marinette**  
“We’ll be fine! Probably!”  
“At least we’re no longer going in circles. It would be nice to see where we were going, though.”

 **Nino**  
And then, with perfect cinematical timing, the clouds part! Or rather, your ship breaks through the underside of the cloud layer, and all three of you can see the land of Arcfen stretched out below you  
Closer than you would have liked probably

 **Alya**  
“Well darn”

 **Nino**  
Below you, stretching out far and wide, is a massive forest. You can only just make out individual trees. Up ahead and to your left you see the silhouette of a massive mountain range, again closer then you’d like. You all see a river winding through the woods below, disappearing into the distance where right below the horizon there’s a shining line of silver; the ocean.

 **Alya**  
Oh! If we make it there, landing the ship will be super easy!

 **Marinette**  
Does it look like we’ll make it there?

 **Nino**  
Hard to say at this point, you’re not entirely sure how fast you’re losing altitude. You’d have to fly for a bit and keep track of the ground to find out.

 **Marinette**  
Okay, I’d like to get to the railing and prepare to do that.

 **Nino**  
Okay, Caitlyn you move over and look over the railing. As a tabaxi, height just don’t scare you at all, not even a little bit, so you just lean over and take a good look.  
As you stand there, looking out over the endless canopy stretching out below you, you hear a voice, speaking to you not out loud, but in your mind.

 **Marinette**  
What?!

 **Nino**  
You hear, “Ah, my adventurers, seems you have successfully regained control of the ship. Very good. Now kindly make your way down and pick me up.” And you recognize the voice as belonging to Aurelius.

 **Marinette**  
Oh no, am I being mind controlled again?

 **Alya**  
Oh man, I hate the sound of his voice.  
Did you make him sound like Hawkmoth on purpose?

 **Adrien**  
Is that what Hawkmoth sounds like?!

 **Nino**  
Look, you’ve gotta get your inspiration from somewhere. I thought I’d made it clear by ‘mind controlling over-the-top dramatic wizard’.

 **Alya**  
Fair  
And I keep forgetting not everyone has heard Hawkmoth. Yeah Nino is kind of spot on there, except Hawkmoth is kind of more of a slimy manipulator. Like this dude is trying to be cordial-ish.  
Drama levels are on point though

 **Marinette**  
Seriously though, am I being mind controlled?!

 **Nino**  
No, Marinette you would know this instinctively, but this is a Sending spell. It’s just a telepathic message. You can reply to it, telepathically, but you only have 25 words.  


**Marinette**  
Okay, oh what do I say? I have 25 words…

 **Adrien**  
I’ll count for you!

 **Marinette**  
“Hey Aurelius…”

 **Alya**  
Tell him to go fuck himself!

 **Marinette**  
Wait I can’t… they don’t know I’m getting this message, right? “Hey guys, Aurelius is talking to me telepathically!”

 **Alya**  
“Tell him to go fuck himself!”

 **Marinette**  
“Okay, so go fuck yourself.”

 **Adrien**  
You have more words. “Tell him mind control is not okay.”

 **Marinette**  
“Mind control is a horrible violation of free will, you’re a coward for resorting to it and if we meet again I will claw your eyes out!”  
How was that?

 **Adrien**  
Too many words but he probably got the message

 **Nino**  
Okay, it is silent for a while, and then Caitlyn, you hear the voice in your head again, sounding much more angry this time. “Fine, you pesky adventurers! Then I’ll have my assistant bring down MY ship and once you’re back on the ground we’ll see how obedient…” and then his spell runs out.

 **Marinette**  
Can I reply again?

 **Nino**  
You can.

 **Adrien**  
“Can you ask him why he’s even doing this?”

 **Alya**  
“Nah, it’s the first session and he has 25 words, there’s no way we’ll get his evil plan. Just tell him he’s a dick.”

 **Marinette**  
“Okay, so you’re a dick. Petra wants to know why you’re doing this, but I think you’re just a power-hungry sadsack that should find a new hobby.”  
Does he reply?

 **Nino**  
You and your party members stand there for a moment. Waiting for a reply. None comes. It seems that Aurelius is done talking to you. Still, you listen. And then all of you hear another noise, one that sends shivers down your spine. It’s the impossibly slow but very, very loud sound of wingbeats.

 **Alya**  
Oh no…

 **Nino**  
Your first immediate thought is dragon. They are rare, but do exist and to the largely wooden airships, they are a death sentence. As you stand there, frozen in fear, a shadow falls over the deck, over you, and you all look up.  
Soaring through the air above you, striking a massive, menacing silhoutte, is not a dragon, but rather an absolutely massive moth.  
And as you spot it, it folds its wings and dives.  
And that’s where we’re going to end the session for today.

 **Marinette**  
Noooo!

 **Alya**  
A cliffhanger on the first session, that is so mean, Nino  
Why would you do that to us?

 **Marinette**  
This has already been so exciting and we haven’t even started our first combat!

 **Adrien**  
This was amazing! Thank you so much for preparing all of this for us, Nino!  
One thing though...  
If we want to keep doing this, are we going to have to just, routinely prank Chloé so we can claim the detention classroom or...?

 **Nino**  
... I had not thought of that

 **Marinette**  
I’m in favour

 **Alya**  
Of course you are

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I've just had the shittiest month ever, and that's saying a lot. With the literal actual pandemic going on, you don't exactly expect cancer to suddenly rear its ugly head, but alas, that's what happened.  
> My mother's results from the bi-annual tests came back positive, and they'd found cells in one of her lymph nodes. It was looking super bad for a while but fortunately they caught it in time. She's been operated and is now recovering, but it's suffice to say the last month has been awful. 
> 
> I guess it's just another reminder that your luck can turn on a dime, and to enjoy time with your loved ones to the fullest for as long as you have it. 
> 
> Anyway, I hope you all liked the chapter. It's very different from what I had in mind at first, I actually went and threw it all out, and this is the second iteration. It's based on the one-shot I always run for new players :P 
> 
> Not sure how common these chapters will be, we'll see I guess


	13. All Big Bads have their Cats

**Chat Noir:** Hey Ladybug, your kwami is helpful, right?

 **Ladybug:** Hey Chat

 **Ladybug:** Helpful? What do you mean?

 **Chat Noir:** It's just, I've been trying to get Plagg to actually explain things to me about magic and the Miraculouses

 **Chat Noir:** Miraculi?

 **Chat Noir:** But well, I told you about this before, but he doesn't really give helpful answers

 **Ladybug:** Yeah

 **Ladybug:** You told me he tries to explain this using cheese metaphors?

 **Chat Noir:** Mostly yeah. Though I'm starting to think the reason I never understand them is because they're not actual metaphors

 **Chat Noir:** I think he just rants about cheese to distract me from trying to ask him things

 **Chat Noir:** Anyway, I don't mind, but you seem to actually know things about magic sometimes

 **Chat Noir:** And well, I actually have an important thing I'd like to know now

 **Chat Noir:** So could you maybe detransform and ask your kwami? And then tell me?

 **Ladybug:** Sure, I'll try

 **Ladybug:** What's so important then?

 **Chat Noir:** Well...

 **Chat Noir:** I'd like to know if Plagg is evil

 **Chat Noir:** Could you ask your kwami if Plagg is evil?

 **Ladybug:** What?!

 **Ladybug:** Evil??

 **Ladybug:** What did he do???

 **Chat Noir:** Oh don't worry, nothing yet

 **Chat Noir:** But well

 **Chat Noir:** If it turns out he is... I'd rather know up front

 **Chat Noir:** I really hope he isn't

 **Ladybug:** I just...

 **Ladybug:** I'm kind of having a hard time imagining a kwami being evil. Tikki is always really helpful and supportive, and even if Plagg isn't quite like that, he still helps you get superpowers and fight the actual evil that is Hawkmoth.

 **Ladybug:** Also they look like flying dolls

 **Ladybug:** What was it that made you think he may be evil?

 **Chat Noir:** Well

 **Chat Noir:** Remember a while ago when we both couldn't sleep and sat on the Eiffel tower until morning?

 **Ladybug:** Oh

 **Ladybug:** Yeah I do

 **Chat Noir:** And we had the soulmate talk?

 **Chat Noir:** And it was like, our miraculous are the opposite of each other, ying and yang and such. And how you speculated that maybe that's why we work so well together, and that maybe we were drawn to each other.

 **Ladybug:** And how I reminded you, sternly, that 'soulmates' does not mean 'romantically involved'

 **Chat Noir:** yes yes of course

 **Chat Noir:** Definitely got that message, not going to argue about that

 **Chat Noir:** Though if you ever change your mind I'll be here, of course B)

 **Ladybug:** >:(

 **Chat Noir:** ANYWAY

 **Chat Noir:** It's just, I have the power of destruction? And I know that works out great because we have to break objects for a living, but it's not the nicest power, in theory.

 **Chat Noir:** And I know they say opposites attract but in all the hero stories I've read, it's often the good powers of creation fighting the bad powers of destruction?

 **Ladybug:** ...

 **Ladybug:** I hate to ask you for your sources, but...

 **Chat Noir:** Avatar the last airbender, She-ra and the Princesses of Power, 70% of all animes ever

 **Chat Noir:** And probably a lot more things I can't think of right now

 **Ladybug:** Okay so 

**Ladybug:** 1) Great taste, I must say I'm not surprised you're a total anime nerd

 **Chat Noir:** Guilty as charged! :D 

**Ladybug:** 2) Shit you may be onto something 

**Chat Noir:** Yeah, I know right 

**Chat Noir:** Have you seen She-ra and ATLA!??

 **Ladybug:** I've seen Avatar, She-ra is still on the to-watch list. I've not had a lot of time to watch series lately...

 **Ladybug:** But before we get side-tracked. I guess there have been past Ladybugs and Black Cats and maybe they were enemies. But we don't have to be.

 **Chat Noir:** No, I wouldn't want that, ever

 **Ladybug:** I certainly don't feel compelled to fight you

 **Ladybug:** You're my best friend

 **Ladybug:** I feel that if creation and destruction truly were destined to fight, we wouldn't be like this

 **Chat Noir:** I guess not 

**Ladybug:** So what makes you think your kwami is evil? 

**Ladybug:** You always speak so fondly of him. Except for when you call him a smelly cheese goblin

 **Chat Noir:** I can like him even if he is a smelly cheese goblin 

**Chat Noir:** And I think he really does care about me, but not really beyond that. I don't think he really 'fights for the fate of Paris' or whatever. Or cares about people besides me, you and presumably the other kwami.

 **Chat Noir:** I didn't think he was evil. More like, Chaotic Neutral. More occupied with cheese than Justice.

 **Chat Noir:** But then tonight he did very seriously offer to help if I ever wanted to murder my actual father 

**Chat Noir:** Going as far as to explain to me that Cataclysm responds to my intentions and wishes, and that if I don't want there to be remains, there will not be

 **Chat Noir:** Because he, I quote "wouldn't be much help burying a body, these paws were not made for manual labour".

 **Chat Noir:** And, I generally just try not to think about what would happen if I used Cataclysm on something alive. 

**Chat Noir:** I feel that our kwami, as our magic spirit guides, are supposed to prevent us from misusing our powers and I figured that would be textbook case misuse 

**Chat Noir:** But apparently according to my kwami I 'am not using my power to its full potential', and 'could be much more deadly if I made an effort' and that 'he would have never raised a hand to you if he knew what you were capable of'.

 **Chat Noir:** I don't know, I think he means well, but it was kind of uncanny hearing this from my supposed spirit guardian

 **Chat Noir:** I don't want to disappoint him but I certainly don't want to murder my father

  


**Chat Noir:** Like, I can not stretch this enough, I super don't want to murder my father

 **Chat Noir:** ...

 **Chat Noir:** You've been quiet for a while, my Lady, have you gone to ask your kwami?

 **Ladybug:** No! No it's just

 **Ladybug:** That was a lot 

**Ladybug:** What do you mean 'raised a hand to you'?

 **Chat Noir:** That's what you're focussing on?! My kwami is trying to get me to commit murder

 **Ladybug:** I need to know if he deserves it 

**Chat Noir:** NO! No not at all! 

**Chat Noir:** He didn't hit me, if that's what you're thinking. I mean, he came close, but he pulled back before he made contact.

 **Chat Noir:** And it was a weird situation too

 **Ladybug:** What was it?

 **Chat Noir:** I had an activity, which a friend had organised and I wanted to go to, but I also was grounded as punishment

 **Chat Noir:** For something I did that wasn't very nice

 **Chat Noir:** And I found a way to do the activity anyway, without leaving my room 

**Chat Noir:** I thought it would be fine since I didn't break his rules directly, but I guess me doing the activity anyway kind of defied the point of being grounded

 **Chat Noir:** So he did get mad 

**Chat Noir:** But as I said, he had his reasons and I wasn't hurt so it's all good

 **Ladybug:** That really doesn't sound like it's all good. That's not okay, even if he didn't hit you for real

 **Ladybug:** I don't think your kwami is evil, probably just overprotective

 **Ladybug:** and Chat, please, if you ever do need help in your civilian life, I'll have your back

 **Ladybug:** I guess I won't have to help you bury a body, but I'll bail you out of jail if I have to, one way or another

 **Chat Noir:** Thanks Ladybug

 **Chat Noir:** I think with my Cataclysm, jail won't be an issue either

 **Chat Noir:** But I do appreciate it!

 **Chat Noir:** Could we talk about something else now though. It's still a little upsetting.

 **Ladybug:** Oh, sorry Chat, of course 

**Ladybug:** My bad 

**Ladybug:** Hey 

**Ladybug:** In the ATLA universe, what bender do you think you'd be?

 **Chat Noir:** What? 

**Ladybug:** My powers are healing, so I guess everyone would expect me to be waterbender. But I think I'd be air. I like the idea of being able to fly and the air nomads in the show were so great.

 **Ladybug:** Pacifists until the end, I admire that 

**Ladybug:** Even though they did almost get wiped out over it 

**Chat Noir:** Oh! Yes my Lady I do think that suits you perfectly!

 **Chat Noir:** I guess people would think I'd have fire, huh? For destruction.

 **Chat Noir:** I don't know, it is a cool element, as are water and air but I think I'd go with earth

 **Chat Noir:** I like the idea that you can make things with that. Things that last. 

**Chat Noir:** I have some friends who are very good at making things, and I always admired that. I wish I had a talent like that, but alas. 

**Ladybug:** So not a Cat of the Arts then, Chaton? 

**Chat Noir:** Well, I do play piano, but besides that no actual crafts

 **Ladybug:** Huh, that's not an instrument I'd associate with you

 **Chat Noir:** I mean, a lot of people start with piano, I just stuck with it 

**Chat Noir:** Still, I'd love to learn a craft someday, a way of making things. Even if it's only small gifts for friends

 **Chat Noir:** So yeah, if I had to pick an element to bend, it'd be earth

 **Chat Noir:** Earthbending would be so neat, like if you needed a house you could just bend the earth and bam, a house! 

**Ladybug:** I'd certainly help you avoid the high rents of Paris

 **Chat Noir:** I know right! 

**Chat Noir:** Would you consider moving in with me if I made us a nice little house somewhere, my Lady? Or are you too much of a free spirit, never to be bound to a single place?

 **Chat Noir:** I'd wait for you regardless, of course

 **Ladybug:** Now, let's not get ahead of ourselves

 **Chat Noir:** Of course not, my Lady :) 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chat Noir: Ha! I can't be put in jail! I have Cataclysm I can just bust out at anytime! No issue!  
> Adrien: *Lives in an actual prison*


	14. Ladybeetles?

**Marinette**  
Everyone, I need your opinion  
What do you all think is more likely  
Ladybug out of costume is a normal person  
Or Ladybug out of costume is an actual ladybug  
I need to know what you all think, this is very important  


**Alya**  
Mari plz :(  


**Nathaniel**  
Oh, is Alya doing Ladybug theories again?  


**Marinette**  
SHE'S BEEN AT IT FOR FOUR HOURS  


**Alya**  
I can't believe you're throwing me under the bus like this :(  


**Marinette**  
I can't believe you genuinely believe Ladybug and Chat Noir are space aliens??  


**Nino**  
It'd be pretty wild if they were space aliens, but still, it's more believable than Ladybug being an actual ladybug  


**Kim?**  
Yeah! She's way cool! No way she's just some bug.  


**Mylene**  
It's magic, so it could be possible. But yeah, I agree, Ladybug is probably a person.  


**Juleka**  
Hmn  
I think Marinette may be onto something  


**Alya**  
You're kidding, right?  


**Juleka**  
She probably isn't an individual insect, but maybe she's like, all of Paris' ladybugs, if that makes sense?  


**Nathaniel**  
The collective consciousness of an entire animal species. A wild theory, but if you look at totem spirit mythology, perhaps not impossible  


**Kim?**  
I mean magic is real so  


**Alix (pink n punk)**  
Calling it now: Ladybug is 10'000 ladybugs in a trench coat  


**Marinette**  
Omg yes  


**Alya**  
Okay now you guys are just mocking me. Seriously, what's so unbelievable about them being from another planet? You're all already saying magic is real so why not aliens?!  


**Marinette**  
Then what's so unbelievable about Ladybug being 10'000 ladybugs in a trenchcoat?  


**Kim?**  
And when she casts her charm they all come out  


**Juleka**  
Imagine if Ladybug cast her cure and she just deflated  


**Marinette**  
What if you took off her mask and 10'000 ladybugs just exploded out of her  
True identity. Revealed.  


**Nino**  
Does that mean that Chat Noir is 10'000 cats in a catsuit?  


**Marinette**  
No more like, 20 cats? You wouldn't need that many cats  


**Mylene**  
Oh, I hope Ladybug is not actually a lot of beetles! I mean ladybugs are nice, for bugs, but they're still bugs.  
Bugs are always scary when they're with many  


**Nino**  
What about the Cure though? That's a lot of beetles flying around fixing things.  
That's not scary, right?  


**Marinette**  
They're not beetles! They're ladybugs!  


**Alya**  
...  


**Juleka**  
...  


**Nino**  
Marinette, you know what ladybugs are, right?  


**Marinette**  
They're ladybugs??  


**Alya**  
Mari ladybugs are beetles  


**Marinette**  
No? They're not?! They're ladybugs  


**Kim?**  
Someone get Max in here to fact check things  


{Max is currently unavailable! He is doing homework and does not want to be disturbed} 

**Alya**  
What?!  


**Kim?**  
Aw shoot  


**Alya**  
Who's in the subtext??  


**Nathaniel**  
Oh, that's Markov. He's the chat moderator.  


{I am indeed! And fortunately, I am also the de facto fact-checker when Max is unavailable}

**Nino**  
Oh good  


{I have done some quick datamining and concluded that despite their name, ladybugs are not in fact bugs, they are beetles. Recognizable by their mandibles and hardened forewings, whereas a true bug has only partially hardened forewings and a backwards facing beak.}

**Kim?**  
Go Markov go!  


**Marinette**  
What?? :(  


**Alya**  
Told ya, beetle.  


**Juleka**  
Wow, ladybugs aren't true bugs?  
Our local superhero is a total faker  


**Alya**  
hey Markov, is there a way I could PM you? I think I know what the next article on the Ladyblog will be about, and since you seem to know a lot about beetles, I'd love your help!  


{Thank you! I did not have this information in my own database, I got it from the web. However, I'll still gladly help.} 

**Alya**  
Sweet  


**Marinette**  
I came here to get Alya off her Ladybug spiel and I'm honestly feeling so attacked rn  


**Adrien**  
Hey I just got out of fencing practice and I'd like to throw in my two cents  
What if Ladybug is a ladybug-alien  
Like a humanoid ladybug  
And the suit disguises her as a person  


**Nino**  
That'd mean Chat Noir is a furry  


**Alya**  
Omg no  


**Juleka**  
I'm pretty sure he already is a furry  


**Ladybug**  
Oh no  
You figured it out  


**Adrien**  
Ladybug!  


**Ladybug**  
Smart mart humans, you've seen right through me  
I am indeed a horrifying ladybug alien  
And you know this now, which means I will have to hunt you down and lock you up in my spaceship so you won't reveal my identity  


**Marinette**  
Oh no!! The horror! D:  


**Alya**  
I'm beginning to think I shouldn't be discussing Ladybugs true identity in this chat...  


**Alix (pink n punk)**  
Are you kidding? This is great  


**Adrien**  
You can lock me up anytime >:3  
I MEAN  


**Nino**  
Holy shit dude control yourself  


**Ladybug**  
gffeeaaahhhggg  


**Alya**  
???  


**Juleka**  
Did Ladybug just die?  


{She appears to have gone offline}

**Alix (pink n punk)**  
That must have been her warcry  
She's coming for you Adrien  
you just wait  


**Adrien**  
I'm not sure if I should be excited or scared  


**Alya**  
Both  
Definitely both  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which Marinette learns she is a beetle and Adrien forgets he's not in character
> 
> Also Markov is a person! It's canon! So he super gets to be a character! 
> 
> Also real quick IRL news, I might have a job so updates will be irregular untill everything has settled. I may be stabbing people in the nose to test them for Corona as early as next week, so that'll be fun.


	15. Enter Rena

**Chat Noir:** Evening M'Lady

**Chat Noir:** I couldn't help but notice

**Chat Noir:** There's a very large amount of small red goblins

**Chat Noir:** Kind of making a mess of things 

**Chat Noir:** Not anything we need to do something about, right? 

**Chat Noir:** Oh wow, they're on TV!

**Ladybug:** CHAT 

**Ladybug:** HELP

**Ladybug:** THERE'S SO MANY

**Chat Noir:** On my way!

  


**Chat Noir:** Ladybug where do I go? 

**Chat Noir:** Normally I just run towards the akuma and find you but these are everywhere

**Ladybug:** The first ones formed near the small square at rue las cases. I'll wait for you there

**Chat Noir:** Ones? As in plural? 

**Ladybug:** Two, it's twins. Children

**Ladybug:** Akuma is in the cap

**Ladybug:** But the clones will just disappear 

**Chat Noir:** Yeah I noticed. They don't even drop any loot

**Chat Noir:** Anyway, how'd you know M'Lady? Where you there when they formed?

**Ladybug:** I wasn't, but the ladyblogger was

**Ladybug:** It's her twin sisters

**Chat Noir:** Oh oof 

**Chat Noir:** Okay I am almost there, let's go!

  


**Chat Noir:** Laaadybug 

**Chat Noir:** Where did you run off to? 

**Chat Noir:** I'm getting overrun here

**Chat Noir:** Normally I don't mind grinding for Xp but this is too much

**Chat Noir:** I killed like 6000 goblins and I don't think I levelled up even once

**Ladybug:** Hold on Chat! I'm coming back and hopefully with help

**Chat Noir:** Phew. 

**Ladybug:** What's with the sudden gaming references anyway?

**Ladybug:** I don't mind, but it's quite the change from your normal cat puns

**Chat Noir:** Oh, just a recent new obsession. Kind of. 

**Chat Noir:** You like gaming, M'Lady?

**Chat Noir:** I feel like I know you so well, but at the same time not at all.

**Ladybug:** Yeah I do, I recently got super into dnd, it's a lot of fun

**Chat Noir:** Oh! Me too! What a coincidence! 

**Chat Noir:** I'm still very bad at it though

**Ladybug:** Maybe we can play together someday after all of this is over 

**Ladybug:** But before we can beat up imaginary goblins, we have a bunch of real ones to defeat

**Ladybug:** Found the help! Be back in a bit 

**Chat Noir:** Okay, don't worry, I got this!

**Chat Noir:** A few low level encounters aren't gonna bag this cat!

  


**Chat Noir:** Okay so they do seem to be duplicating faster than I can poof them so that's a problem maybe

  


**Chat Noir:** Ladybug? 

  


**Chat Noir:** Ladybug I'm being overrun!

**Chat Noir:** Mayday mayday! 

**Chat Noir:** Send help! 

  


**Ladybug:** We're coming!

**Chat Noir:** We?! 

**Ladybug:** Yoyo open communicator menu 

[2] Other Miraculous currently active: Butterfly, Fox

**Chat Noir** What?!

 **Ladybug:** Get ready Chat! 

**Ladybug:** Yoyo connect to fox miraculous!

...Connecting  
...

**Chat Noir** THERE'S A FOX MIRACULOUS?!

 **Chat Noir:** AND YOU HAVE IT???

**Ladybug:** I borrowed it 

...Invitation accepted  
...Adding Fox Miraculous Wielder to Shared Channel

**???** Yeahyehyeh I'm ready to roll!

 **???:** Heya Chat, 

**???:** nice to finally get to...

**???:** Chat with you ;) 

**Chat Noir:** Oh 

**Chat Noir:** Why hello there, Foxy. It is indeed a pleasure. 

**Chat Noir:** I'd like it more to meet you in person though

**Chat Noir:** Especially now that I am being overrun by goblins!!!

**Ladybug:** Why are you chatting then? 

**Chat Noir:** I'm always Chat-ting

**Chat Noir:** wink wink

**Chat Noir:** No but seriously please help

**Ladybug:** We're on our way!

  


**Chat Noir:** Hey Foxy! 

**Chat Noir:** What's your name anyway

**Chat Noir:** Superhero name I mean 

**Chat Noir:** Don't tell me your real one ofc!

**Chat Noir:** Unless you want to ;) 

**Ladybug:** Chat less texting more goblinslaying

**???:** Oh 

**???:** It's eh

**???:** I have a name, totally

**???:** It's really good

**Ladybug:** Please stop TEXTING DURING BATTLE

**Chat Noir:** But M'lady

**Chat Noir:** You're texting during battle ;P

  


**Ladybug:** Great job everyone! 

**Chat Noir:** Last chance for a name, newbie

**Chat Noir:** I haven't seen the Ladyblogger yet, but she'll be hounding either you or us for something to call you, no doubt

**???:** It's

**???:** Rouge 

**Ladybug:** ??

**Rena Rouge:** Rena Rouge! 

**Rena Rouge:** That's me

**Rena Rouge:** Rena Rouge

**Chat Noir:** Huh 

**Ladybug:** Nice, well Rena, it has been a pleasure 

**Ladybug:** Thank you for helping us 

**Rena Rouge:** Anytime, Ladybug 

**Rena Rouge:** I mean it, anytime 

**Rena Rouge:** (plz hire me) 

**Ladybug:** I'll think about it

**Chat Noir:** Seeya Rena, and remember, stay frosty 

**Chat Noir:** Or should I say...

**Ladybug:** don't

**Chat Noir:** Stay Foxy ;3 

* * *

{ClassChat}

**Alya**  
Everyone help!  
A horrible tragedy happened  
Sublime misfortune overcame me  
Which god did I piss off to deserve this?  


**Rose (pink n prep)**  
Oh no, is it about your sisters?  
I hear they were akumatized  


**Mylene (rainbow dreads)**  
Oh no, that must have been such a scary, terrible experience  


**Alya**  
Oh no, it was all right  
They turned into a bunch of terrible, tutu-wearing goblins but like but honestly  
That's just everyday baby twin sisters so whatever  
What happened to me was much worse!  


**Nathaniel (artsy)**  
Okay, I'll bite, what was the horrible misfortune  


**Alya**  
Ladybug brought out a new hero!  
Never seen before, brand new superhero!  
First time that has happened since Stoneheart!  


**Juleka (purple)**  
No way  


**Rose (pink n prep)**  
Oh wow! Why is that bad though?  


**Alya**  
Well, they were pretty close to me. It was my sisters so I was like, out there on the front lines  
I actually got to interview the new hero! Amazing right!  
Except my phone died on me -_- I was all out of battery. So I'm just retyping the entire interview from memory now for the Ladyblog  
It's a lot of work, and far less exciting than footage  
SO PLEASE, if any of you has any footage at all of the new hero, I beg of you  
Send it to me or submit it to the blog, please!  


**Nathaniel (artsy)**  
I never even saw the new hero, but I have a lot of footage of the akuma  


**Rose (pink n prep)**  
Me as well, they raided the McDonalds opposite the street from us  


**Juleka (purple)**  
Completely levelled it, it was insane  


**Mylene (rainbow dreads)**  
I'm pretty sure a lot of people have Akuma footage this time, they were everywhere  


**Alya**  
I know, but I specifically need footage of the new hero  


**Alya**  
Really? No one? :(  
I know no one has video, but anything else?  
Blurry pictures?  
Eyewitness accounts?  
I'll honestly take anything at this point  


**Adrien**  
No sorry  
Although, I don't have any footage but the end of the battle was close to my house  
and I did see the new hero use her power  
I'm not sure if that helps  


**Alya**  
You did?! It does actually!  
I'll PM you  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It has been months, but I am back! Tho, I'm not going to lie, updates will continue to be very irregular since I'm still working my ass off at the COVID teststreet. Butttt I do want to get back into the flow of writing, so here we go!

**Author's Note:**

> Betad by the lovely [Norelica](https://norelica.tumblr.com/)!  
>  ~~No beta~~ A beta! We thrive like women B)


End file.
